


with every last breath, i feel you on my skin

by englandziam



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Kid!Fic, M/M, artist!zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-21 16:42:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6058567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/englandziam/pseuds/englandziam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Autumn is his favourite time of year, the soft colours inspiring new sketches in his mind and marking out mental images of distinct paintings. </i><br/><br/><i>He’s also reminded of his favourite memories – bringing Aashir home on a late Sunday morning and Soraya’s first words uttered in between giggles of Liam decorating them in a flurry of falling leaves. Liam shyly sliding a ring into his palm with a soft, hopeful smile clinging to his lips after he’d woken Zayn with tea and toast in bed, the sigh of relief he’d breathed when Zayn had mumbled an inevitable ‘yes’ over his lips. </i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	with every last breath, i feel you on my skin

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from 'In Our Own Worlds' by Jamie Lawson
> 
> Special thanks to Thalia for helping me mark out the original ideas of this fic, Rose for helping me with the cover and Jesse for being my favourite author (and always motivating me to continue writing).

Zayn wakes to his face pressed into the pillow, soft sheets underneath his skin with limbs sprawled out lazily over the mattress. Flickers of light seeping through the parted curtains are dancing patterns over the duvet, the room a soft glow from the fuchsia sky fading a sunrise.  

Zayn’s eyes flicker to the clock hanging above the dresser, a frown wrinkling his brow as he acknowledges how late in the morning it is. He drags a hand through his hair and tugs a t-shirt over his head, pulling on a pair of Liam’s joggers from the floor. They’re a little low on his hips, the material pooling at his ankles.

He pushes the black frames of his glasses over the bridge of his nose as he wanders down the hallway, a smile shifting over his lips as he hears muffled giggles from the kitchen.

Liam is at the kitchen table, hair still freshly wet from a shower and a burgundy jumper pulled over his chest, emphasising the broadness of his shoulders. Soraya is pressed into his lap, silky brown hair pulled back into two neat plaits with a teddy clutched to her chest. Warm, chestnut eyes, a bright smile whispered over her lips as she lifts her head to beam up at Zayn.

Aashir is curled into the chair next to Liam, his fingertips pressed over the colourful pages of the book he’s reading aloud. Dark strands of his fringe fray over his eyelashes, voice cautious and quiet as he struggles on a ‘W’ with Liam brushing a gentle hand through the back of his hair and reassuring him with soft words of encouragement.

Zayn notices the way Liam’s arm is wrapped loosely around Soraya’s waist, his palm splayed over her stomach and his lips dipping kisses into her hair every so often.

Soraya stumbles out of Liam’s lap moments later, padding across the tiled floor to reach Zayn. She extends her arms towards Zayn, making grabby hands and grinning when he lifts her from the floor.

“Morning, gorgeous,” he mumbles over her forehead, smiling as his daughter wraps her arms around his neck and smothers a kiss to his cheek.

“Daddy made us scrambled eggs,” Soraya beams, tiny fingertips brushing over the back of Zayn’s neck.

He hums, smiling into her hair and watching Liam over the top of her head.

“C’mon, babe,” Liam says quietly, smiling softly. “Two more pages and we c’n show baba the painting you did this morning.”

Aashir’s eyes lift, a small smile spreading to his lips.

He drags his attention back to the book, muttering several of the words under his breath. Liam nods along beside him, helping Aashir every few sentences.  

“Did you paint too?” Zayn asks Soraya, looking into honey eyes and feathery eyelashes that blink up at him.

She nods eagerly, eyes crinkling around the edges like Liam’s. Zayn swears that his children share a fair few of their genes, even if it isn’t biologically possible.

“With the new set you got me,” she says happily, hugging her teddy close. “Aash did a really good drawing of Loki.”

Zayn grins, propping Soraya over his hip as he boils the kettle.

“S’ that why Daddy has paint in his hair?” Zayn questions, muffling his laugh into Soraya’s hair.

She giggles, bright eyes smiling at Zayn.

“I didn’t mean to,” she whines happily, fiddling with the collar of Zayn’s top.

Zayn places Soraya onto her feet as he retrieves two mugs from the cupboard, stirring in two teaspoons of sugar into his tea and a sweetener into Liam’s.

He listens to Liam’s praise as they finish the book, Aashir jumping up from the table and running out to the hallway, Soraya close behind. Liam begins to hum under his breath as he fills in the section of Aashir’s reading diary from school, huffing a laugh as he paces across the room to Zayn.

“He hates reading,” he sighs, shoving the small book into a plastic wallet.

“He obviously takes after you, babe,” Zayn grins, blowing over the steaming liquid before placing it onto the counter.

Liam pouts before mumbling a laugh, cupping Zayn’s cheeks and dragging him closer.

“Hi,” he says softly, a fond smile wandering over his lips as Zayn murmurs a quiet _‘morning, love’_ and kisses over Liam’s mouth.

“Thanks for letting me lie in,” he whispers in between lazy kisses, fingers carding through Liam’s hair and running over the fluorescent colours matted into cinnamon-coloured strands.  

Liam shrugs, smiling, nose brushing over Zayn’s as Soraya and Aashir hurry into the room and tug at the hem of his jumper.

“Baba, look,” Aashir says softly, smiling shyly as he offers the paper up to Zayn.

Zayn takes the picture and crouches down to Aashir’s height, wrapping an arm around his small torso and pulling him closer. He looks over the intricately drawn lines and the warm colours smudged around them, fondness brushing over every inch of him at the thought of Aashir inheriting the same characteristics as him.  

“Wow, Aash,” he grins, breathing a kiss over Aashir’s temple. “It’s incredible, babe.”

He notices the happy smile shifting over Aashir’s lips, small hands curling around Zayn’s fingers as he huddles closer into the side of his body.

“I told you it was good,” Soraya chirps from where she’s perched on Liam’s back, arms wrapped around his neck.

Zayn’s heart swells at the supportive smile swept over her expression and wonders if it’s normal for a four year old to be this intelligent.

“You’re almost as good as your Abbu,” Liam says softly, Soraya hiding her face into his neck.

Aashir grins so widely, dark eyes full of hope and so similar to Liam’s.

“Does that mean I can sell my pictures like you when I’m bigger?”

Laughter falls between Liam’s parted lips, fondness clinging to every feature.

“If you want to, sweetheart,” Zayn tells him, affection laced to his tone. “You can do anything in the world, meri jaan.”

“I want to be an astronaut!” Soraya shouts happily, resting her head over Liam’s shoulder. “You c’n come and visit me in space, Daddy.”

Soraya’s laughter fills the room as Liam paces quick strides over the tiles, disappearing out of the kitchen with his voice singing out _‘3, 2, 1, lift off!_ ’ and Soraya’s giggles chasing after him.  

“I just want to be like you, baba,” Aashir whispers shyly, biting over his bottom lip as he blinks up at Zayn.

Zayn sighs, a small smile crawling over his lips as he brushes gentle touches along Aashir’s cheeks and down to his chin.

“You can be much more, my angel,” he whispers, mumbling a soft _‘mein tumese pyar karta hoon’_ over his forehead and wandering a kiss to Aashir’s skin as he quietly mutters _‘i love you, too’_ back.

 

//

 

He feels a sense of pride as he watches them together, Liam curled up at his side and dragging lazy kisses over his shoulder while Soraya and Aashir chase each other around the garden.

He’s reminded of sleepless nights when they first brought Soraya home – the exhaustion scratched over Liam’s face and the way he’d sing to her until she’d fall asleep in his arms, cuddled up in the armchair by the fireplace. The yawns dragged over Aashir’s lips as he’d whisper soft words of comfort, pressed into Liam’s waist because he couldn’t leave her alone while he slept.

How he’d have to brush away the tears slipping over his soft skin when she’d cry, feared mumbles of _‘is she not happy with us?’_ and _‘does she not like me?_ ’ until Zayn had gently reminded him that this is normal and _‘yes, Aash, you cried like this for_ months _, babe.’_

Zayn hums as Liam fumbles gentle lips over his skin, smiling and dragging his fingers through Liam’s hair.

“What’re you thinkin’ about?” Liam mumbles, stifling a giggle into Zayn’s neck as he watches Rhino steal the Frisbee from Aashir and run off with a wagging tail.

Zayn nuzzles his forehead closer to Liam’s and scowls as Liam’s teeth graze over his skin, grinning.

“Just…we raised that,” he says fondly, eyes fluttering shut as Liam presses gentle touches over his spine.

He hums, nudging his nose into Zayn’s neck.

“Pretty special, those two,” he whispers, humming contently as his lips smooth over Zayn’s skin, mouth clinging to the foreign ink stained to his collarbone.

“I can’t believe we did it,” Zayn says quietly, giggling into Liam’s hair. “How did we go from fucking about at uni to this?”

Liam smothers laughter over Zayn’s skin, eyes flickering to their children outside.

“Remember the New Year’s we spent in your dorm room?” Liam asks, smiling as he watches the huge grin pressed over Aashir’s mouth as Soraya pushes her on the swing. “I was absolutely fucked and I told you I wanted to spend the rest f’ my life with you.”

Zayn grins at the memory, pressing into Liam’s side as he remembers them curled up under the duvet while everyone else stayed out clubbing until five. Messy kisses and a shared cigarette, Liam’s lips roaming his skin and fingertips teasing over his thighs.  

“You thought I was crazy,” Liam reminds him softly, fingers gentle at the bottom of his spine.

“I still think you’re crazy, Leeyum,” Zayn whispers, pulling away so he can drag his lips over Liam’s, fingers at his neck to press them closer.

He sighs into the kiss, eyelids fluttering at the soft touches Liam grazes over his skin and the familiar breath washed over his mouth. He smiles contently when Liam wanders a whispered _‘I love you, sweetheart’_ past his lips and over his jaw, hands wrapping carefully around Zayn’s thighs to pull him into his lap.  

He nudges a kiss into Liam’s hair before hearing the garden door swing open, creaking loudly as a silent reminder that they need to tighten the hinges.

“Baba!” Aashir calls out, appearing breathless in the doorway seconds later.

“Y’ okay, gorgeous?” He asks, standing with a frown as Loki trots through the kitchen with muddy paws trailing over the tiles.

“Aya fell over,” he pouts, chewing over his lip. “Her leg’s bleeding.”

Liam brushes past Zayn in half a second, stepping around Aashir to rush outside.

There’s anxiety traced to his expression, fear trembling his bottom lip as he clings onto Zayn’s leg.

Liam returns moments later, Soraya in his arms with tears brimming around her worried eyes.

 “Sh, beta,” Liam says softly, setting her onto the kitchen table and kissing over her knuckles.

Zayn almost sighs watching them and doesn’t understand how after all these years his heart still shamelessly flutters at the sight of Liam with their children.

He fiddles around in the cupboard under the sink before he finds a plaster, slipping it into Liam’s hand and showing a tiny smile as Liam lets their fingers linger for a little longer than necessary.

“M’ I gonna have to be your doctor, Soraya?” Liam asks with a grin, brushing his thumb over her cheek as she sniffles through a quiet giggle. “Thought you were better at this stuff than me, love?”

“I am,” she snickers, dragging her sleeve across her cheeks.

Zayn sits back onto a chair and gestures for Aashir to sit next to him, watching with cautious eyes. He chews on his thumbnail and pads across the room to join Zayn, averting his gaze down to his lap.

“How’re you doing, babe?” He asks softly, prying away Aashir’s thumb from his mouth and tangling their fingers together. “Holding up okay?”

Aashir nods slowly, looking up with hesitant eyes.

“I just… I don’t like the blood.”

Zayn hums knowingly, giving his son’s hand a gentle squeeze.

Liam comes over and crouches in front of Aashir, Soraya climbing into Zayn’s lap.

“It’s all done, babe,” he says reassuringly, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Thank you for being so brave n’ coming to get us.”

Aashir smiles slowly as Liam tugs a careful hand through his hair.

“How about we watch some telly to take our minds off of it, yeah?”

Soraya and Aashir both grin, jumping up from their seats to hurry into the living room.

“Shoes off!” Zayn calls, tucking the chairs underneath the table and wrapping his arms around Liam’s waist from behind.

Smiling, he hooks his chin over Liam’s shoulder and kisses over his jaw.

“Love you,” he mumbles, rolling his eyes as Liam scoffs a contagious grin and tugs Zayn towards the living room, asking _‘are our kids too young to be introduced to the Spiderman trilogy?’_

_//_

Zayn loves to paint.

He adores the way the brush strokes fluorescent colours over the canvas and the intricacy his hand can bring to a page. The gentle tones contrasting colours, another way of exploring the world around him.

The conservatory is his favourite place to work, his easel positioned so that he’s always facing the small garden. The light pours through the windows, the sun glittering over his skin and dancing across the blank canvas.

He’s lost in thought, his eyes focused on the sunflowers growing up the back fence, memories of Soraya and Aashir planting them several years back flitting through his mind. Liam’s mum with a precious smile wavering along her lips, navy gardening gloves protecting her hands as she’d knelt beside their children and helped them bury the seeds in thick soil.

He sighs as Loki scratches at the conservatory door, tongue hanging out of his mouth and his tail wagging as he looks eagerly towards Zayn. He places the paintbrush back onto the easel ledge and opens the door, rolling his eyes fondly as Loki dashes out in between his legs and barks at nothing in particular.

There’s a jingle of keys along the hall and a smile crawls over his lips as he instinctively paces to the kitchen to flip the kettle on.

He’s fiddling with two mugs when familiar arms wrap around his stomach, Liam’s chin placed onto his shoulder and warm breath washing over his skin as a soft kiss is scattered to his cheek.

“Hey, gorgeous,” Liam grins over his skin, fingers tickling across his stomach through his t-shirt.

Zayn smiles softly, twisting awkwardly in Liam’s hold.

“Hi,” he says fondly, fiddling with the tie draped neatly down Liam’s chest. He pulls Liam in to kiss him, an eyebrow arching as he notes a hint of desperation behind Liam’s lips.

“Babes,” Zayn mutters, pulling away and grinning at the whine spilled through Liam’s mouth.

“V' been thinking about you ever since I woke up to you straddling me in bed this morning,” Liam pouts, hands subtly sliding a little lower down the small of Zayn’s back. His fingers graze over the waistband of his jeans and dip below, provoking a shiver down each vertebrae of Zayn’s spine.

“You’ve gotta be back at work in an hour,” Zayn reminds him, humming lazily as Liam kisses over his lips with a grin.

“We can be quick, baby,” he whispers, his voice lower that has Zayn breathing a little heavier. “It’s been way too long since I’ve touched you.”

He lets Liam wrap strong hands around the back of his thighs, a fond giggle licked into Liam’s mouth as he’s lifted up onto the counter.

“How c’n you still do that?” Zayn asks, tangling his arms around Liam’s neck to drag him closer.

“You’re not exactly heavy, babe,” Liam grins, standing between Zayn’s legs. He cups Zayn’s neck, thumbing over the rough stubble marked out over his jaw. “So tiny, love.”

Zayn pouts, furrowing his brow until Liam kisses over the wrinkles strained to his forehead.

“Baby, wait,” Zayn mutters in between kisses, hopping down from the counter despite Liam’s whine of protest. He smiles, keeping one hand pressed into the back of Liam’s hair as they stumble across the room for Zayn to open the conservatory door and let Loki in.

“The new painting looks incredible,” Liam says softly, bruising Zayn’s lips with gentle kisses. “You’re amazing.”

Zayn bites over his lip, smiling.

“I love you,” he whispers, reaching up onto his toes to get nearer to Liam’s height. He fidgets his fingers around Liam’s collar, tugging his tie through the loop and leaving it over the back of a chair as Liam walks them backwards and towards the stairs.

He whimpers as Liam pushes him against the back of their bedroom door once it’s closed, fingers hurrying to undo the buttons of Liam’s shirt.

“Did I ever tell you how hot you look in a suit?” He questions, eyelids fluttering as Liam’s lips leave hot kisses down his neck.

“A couple of times,” Liam grins, nudging his fingers over the hem of Zayn’s jeans. They’re soon pooling at this thighs, Liam’s hands teasing the trail of hair now visible below his jumper.

He’s too lost in kissing Liam to notice the fingertips sliding down his stomach and dipping below his boxers. He whines when a hand wraps gingerly around his cock, and Liam was right – it’s been _way_ too long.

 “Fuck, Li,” he moans, biting over his lip as Liam’s thumb slides over the crown. There are whimpers pouring from his lips, Liam’s hands unbelievably good as he stumbles a smirk over Zayn’s neck.

“Forgot how good you look like this,” he whispers, voice hot as his lips brush over Zayn’s collarbone.

Zayn struggles to pull off Liam’s shirt from over his shoulders, huffing as Liam presses a laugh to the lips inked to his chest. He bites over his lip when Liam uses one hand to brush it to the floor in one smooth action, broad chest and naked torso now on display. Zayn rakes his eyes down Liam’s stomach, head tipping back to the wall as he marvels over the way Liam’s abs flex as he pushes closer and strokes gentle fingers over Zayn’s cock.

“You’re staring,” Liam notes softly, flashing a pointed grin up at Zayn. He shrugs, letting Liam brace him against the wall as his balance weakens.

“No different to usual, then,” he mutters, exhaling a shaky breath. He curls his arms around Liam’s neck when a fond smile wanders over his lips, pulling him closer so that he can whisper a moan into Liam’s mouth.

“Shit,” Liam strains, tugging at Zayn’s lower lip gently with his teeth. “I’m so fucking hard right now.”

Zayn giggles, mumbling a kiss over Liam’s lips.

“Is it stupid that you swearing is turning me on?”

Liam pulls away, eyebrows raised with a silly smile smothered over his bruised mouth.

“A bit, yeah,” he grins, pressing over the head of Zayn’s cock and smearing precome along the soft skin. “Still love you, though.”

Zayn rolls his eyes, lips parting and eyelids fluttering as Liam palms over his thighs.

“Shut up,” he complains, dragging his fingers through Liam’s hair. “I just, I dunno. I never hear you – oh god – because of the kids.”

“I’m going t’ be so late back to the office,” Liam huffs, kissing along Zayn’s jaw at the noise of discontent breathed through his lips when he moves both hands down to Zayn’s bare arse.

Zayn’s eyes flutter shut as Liam kisses him and he goes compliant in his strong hold. He’s too focused on gentle fingertips mapping out his skin, fingernails scraping over his thighs and the tattoos smeared to various parts of his body.

“Babe,” Liam’s soft voice breaks him from his thoughts, a little space between them now that they’re up against the far end of the bed. A sheet is being draped over Zayn’s back and he pouts with the realisation that Liam isn’t fully naked.

“Off,” he tuts, unsteady hands pulling the zipper of his trousers.

Liam laughs, lifting from the mattress and allowing Zayn to shimmy the material over his hips.

“Better?” He asks, reaching up to hurry a kiss over Zayn’s breathless lips.

He hums, stuttering a soft gasp as he notices the strain of Liam’s boxers.

“Wanna help me out?” Liam prompts, stealing another kiss as Zayn straddles his thighs.

He grinds into Liam’s lap, content with the shaky moan poured from Liam’s lips.

“I wanna…babe, C’mere,” Liam blurts, hands sliding down Zayn’s hips.

He shuffles closer, smiling as Liam’s lips press over the tattoos marked to his chest. Fingertips tease his thighs, a whimper clinging to his tongue as Liam eases his thumb over the rim of his hole.

He kisses along Liam’s neck while he fumbles in the drawer of the bedside table, achingly hard. He leaves behind messy blemishes, grinning as Liam leans his head against the wall, encouraging the soft graze of teeth upon his skin.

A shiver runs over his skin as Liam presses wet fingers over his hole, careful and slow as he eases them in.

“Li,” he whines, a moan heavy on his tongue.

Liam smiles, one hand gripping Zayn’s hip in attempt to steady the stutter of his thighs.

He nudges his fingers back and forth, grinning over the gasp Zayn swallows.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he says softly, trailing his hand to the small of Zayn’s back to steady him.

Zayn sighs, a blush crawling over his cheekbones and down towards his neck. After all these years he’s still so affected by Liam, every compliment so sincere.

He grinds onto Liam’s fingers, lips parted as he breathes a shaky moan.

“C’n get loud,” Liam mutters, twisting his fingers. “S’ nobody here, babe.”

Zayn whimpers, nudging his nose over Liam’s and mumbling a gentle kiss over his mouth.

“Leeyum,” he huffs, biting along his lower lip. “Fuck, babes. Need you.”

He stutters a moan when Liam’s fingers leave his hole, a gentle half kiss brushed over his lips. His eyes flutter closed as Liam’s careful hands spread his cheeks, dick wetly easing over the rim.

There’s a pinch in his brow when Liam stretches him out, a familiar ache to his muscles that seems to fade as he watches Liam’s lips part breathlessly.

He curls his fingers around Liam’s waist, thumbs digging cautiously into tanned skin.

A roll of his hips, his name moaned out into his hair as Liam grabs a hold of his thighs.

“Baby,” Liam groans, a fucked, fond smile brushed over Zayn’s panting mouth.

His stomach muscles coil tightly, toes curling against the soft sheets wrinkled beneath them. He whispers through a whimper and shifts his glance to Liam when an unsteady moan falls from his lips. His head is pressed against the wall, eyelashes fluttering behind closed lids. He looks blissful, beauty etched to the scarlet undertones painted along his cheeks and the sugary pink of his lips.

Fingers gripping Zayn’s hips, mapping out his skin and marking his thighs. His hair is a little dishevelled, several strands matted to his forehead with sweat. Zayn feels weak just looking at him, a sob clinging to his tongue as he eases himself lower.

He arches his spine as Liam lifts his hips off the mattress to get deeper, the crown of Liam’s cock brushing just over his prostate.

“Babe,” Zayn whispers through a wrecked moan, partially distracted from the contrast of delicate touches scattered over his stomach and half-crescents pressed painfully into his thighs.

Liam hums a breath of a kiss over Zayn’s lips.

“Louder,” he smiles, panting.

He lifts his hips again, thrusting a little deeper and stirring a stuttered gasp over Zayn’s tongue. Zayn reaches forward to smother a kiss over the birthmark in the centre of Liam’s neck, desperately clinging on to Liam’s arms for support as his legs weaken beneath him.

“Shit,” he breathes out, choking back the moan as his throat tightens.

He swears he’s not breathing, the oxygen caught as he gasps for air.

“Oh fuck,” he stutters as Liam’s thumb smudges over the slippery crown of Zayn’s cock, fingers smearing leaking precome along the underside of his shaft.

He leans in to wander a wet kiss over the foreign writing inked to Zayn’s collarbone, dragging lazy kisses along his neck until he brushes his nose against Zayn’s with a shy smile.

“Never gonna get over how beautiful you are,” he whispers, licking a groan into Zayn’s mouth as he shifts his hips.

Zayn stutters over a grin, tracing the curve of Liam’s jaw with clumsy fingers. He cards a hand through Liam’s hair, nibbling a feeble kiss along his earlobe.

“Love you,” he mumbles softly, followed by a whispered moan that has Liam grunting into his neck.

Liam brushes his fingers over the bottom of Zayn’s spine and nudges a kiss over his damp skin.

He moans, eyes screwed shut.

“Love you more.”

“Fuck, Li –” Zayn utters through a shaky whisper, sighing as Liam steadies his thighs with firm hands.

“C’mon, baby boy,” Liam exhales, a dry kiss moved over Zayn’s lips in a wrecked smile.

Liam’s words send rushes of pleasure through his nerves, the coil in his stomach tightening as Liam mutters words of praise over his neck and across his jaw.

A whimper stumbles over his lips as he comes, blinking desperately to keep his eyes open in order to watch the idyllic expression fading over Liam’s skin.

His cock smears come over Liam’s stomach, a muffled gasp brushed over his lips as Liam pulses deep inside of him.

“Fuck,” Liam sighs, gasping for air as he slides restless arms around Zayn’s waist and drags him closer.

Zayn bites over his lip, stuttering a giggle into Liam’s neck as he cards shaky fingers through Liam’s hair. There’s a smile dipped into his hair, rough laughter scratched over his temple from raw lips.

They stay pressed together for several minutes, Zayn’s chin hooked over Liam’s shoulder with gentle kisses scattered over his skin before Liam is rushing about to leave for work and Zayn dips into the mattress, a content smile stained to his lips.

 

//

 

The sky is a filtered auburn, an early sun tucked away behind lazy clouds smeared chaotically over the bright canopy. Zayn notices the way it complements the trees, hints of hazel between the rusty reds and oranges clinging to almost-bare branches and scattering the pathway.

Autumn is his favourite time of year, the soft colours inspiring new sketches in his mind and marking out mental images of distinct paintings.

He’s also reminded of his favourite memories – bringing Aashir home on a late Sunday morning and Soraya’s first words uttered in between giggles of Liam decorating them in a flurry of falling leaves. Liam shyly sliding a ring into his palm with a soft, hopeful smile clinging to his lips after he’d woken Zayn with tea and toast in bed, the sigh of relief he’d breathed when Zayn had mumbled an inevitable ‘yes’ over his lips.

Their wedding – a white canopy filled with his favourite people, twinkly lights tangled everywhere possible. The tangerine sunset he’d watched with his head pressed onto Liam’s shoulder, the happiest of smiles plastered to his lips all day and the fond kisses Liam had pressed over his temple and into his hair as they giggled over their families dancing on the dancefloor.

He breathes in a breath of fresh air and sighs contently, blinking away the tears the icy wind has provoked. His fingers are tangled with Liam’s, hands swinging between them as they walk along the park pathway and through the sea of leaves.

Liam laughs softly as Aashir trails in front of them with Liam’s phone in hand, snapping photos of the dogs and Soraya kicking through puddles with her teal wellies.

Zayn bites over the smile pressed over his lips and glances at Liam, blinking over the happy crinkles smudged around his eyes and the dimples placed perfectly into his cheeks. Long strands of hair brushed over his forehead, the gentle coral of his lips and the birthmark peeking out above the beige, checkered scarf wrapped around his neck.

“I love you,” he blurts, under his breath but Liam hears him anyway.

The fond look swept into Liam’s eyes and over his expression is flickered towards Zayn, a squeeze of his hand and a calloused thumb brushed gently over his knuckles. He steps a little closer to Zayn, pulling him in to dip a kiss into his hair.

“Love you more,” he says with a soft grin, attention diverted as Rhino runs towards them with a stick carried in his mouth.

Liam groans as the stick is dragged along against his legs, mud splattered over his jeans.

“C’mon, babe, really,” he whines, huffing at Rhino as he drops the stick at Liam’s feet and backs away with his tongue hanging out of his mouth, excitement shown through the wagging of his tail.

Zayn laughs as Liam brushes the dirt from his trousers, purposefully covering his mouth with his hand in response to the glare Liam flashes him.

“Y’ meant to be on my side,” he complains, frowning.

Zayn shrugs, chewing over his smile.

“Look at his face, babes,” he grins, zipping up his coat as a blare of cold wind incites a shiver through him. “He looks so happy with himself.”

Liam scowls, throwing the stick to his right and onto the grassy field for Rhino to chase after.

“I take back what I said,” he teases. “I don’t love you anymore.”

Zayn stops walking and waits for Liam to turn back, pushing a wobbly pout to his lips and folding his arms over his chest. Liam smiles and reaches for the collar of Zayn’s jacket, dragging him closer and slinging his arms around his neck.

A soft kiss is placed to the corner of his mouth, Liam’s eyelids fluttering closed as he connects them once again, lips parted and the kiss stronger than before.

“I’ll always love you,” he whispers delicately, lacing their fingers together again.

He pulls away with a silly smile, Zayn’s heart sweltering unsteadily in his chest.

He huddles into Liam’s shoulder and wonders if his mind and body will ever adjust to those three words slipped from Liam’s mouth.

“Daddy?” Aashir says when they approach the playground, passing Liam’s phone to him with bright eyes. “Can y’ push me on the swings?”

“Course I can, sweetheart,” Liam grins, pulling open the gate and waiting for Soraya and Aashir to scurry past before letting Zayn step out in front of him.

“D’ you want to go on the swings with Aash?” Zayn asks Soraya who is waiting hesitantly at the gate, deep in thought as she chews on her thumbnail.

He crouches to her height, buttoning up her coat and running a careful hand through her dark hair. It’s past her shoulders now, curling in gentle waves towards the bottom that reminds Zayn of Liam’s hair after a shower.

“Soraya,” Zayn says quietly, blinking as he tries to comprehend what’s going through her head. 

She shuffles in between Zayn’s parted legs, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear shyly.

“I won’t push you too high, meri jaan,” he tries, watching as Soraya’s expression crumples into a relief.

He smiles, adjusting her scarf so that it’s a little looser around her neck.

“We c’n go on something else,” he suggests, kissing over her temple as she clings to him.

Soraya shakes her head, wrapping both of her tiny hands over Zayn’s to pull him up.

“I want t’ go on the swings,” she confirms softly, looking up at Zayn and shielding her eyes as blinding rays of sun filter out from behind the clouds. “But Imogen pushed me really high on the swings at school and I didn’t like it.”

Zayn lets her tug him across the playground, wood chips crunching beneath his feet as he’s pulled along. He lifts Soraya into the swing, telling her to hold onto the safety bar rested against her stomach.

“Not too high,” she reminds him with a pout, frowning.

“F’ course, beta,” Zayn says softly, pushing the swing gently so that it moves in slow motions.

Beside them Aashir is giggling as he’s pushed higher and higher, little squeals of excitement tumbling through his lips as Liam stands laughing behind him. He drags his attention back to Soraya, watching her face fade from a tight frown to a soft smile, her grin growing wider by the second.

“S’ this okay, love?” He asks, fingers reaching out to tickle her legs every time she comes closer.

Soraya shrieks, shoulders shaking as she laughs in between moaning at Zayn to stop.

“D’ you wanna go on the slide with me, Aya?” Aashir shouts out, voice taken by the wind.

Zayn pulls the swing towards him as she nods, letting her arms crawl around his neck as he lifts her up and onto the ground.

“Thanks, baba,” she whispers, nudging a kiss to his cheek.

He bites over his lip, unable to control the smile shifting over his lips. He’s unsure if the feeling of pride will ever fade or disappear, because with every day he grows more and more attached to his little family.

Liam follows him to the bench up against the fence, pulling out his phone to reply to a text from his mum.

“Are they still coming up for a roast next week?” Zayn asks, keeping a wary eye on Soraya and Aashir as they climb the slide.

Liam nods, leaning into Zayn’s shoulder as he taps away at the screen.

“Ruth and Nicola can’t make it but mum n’ dad are both coming,” he says quietly, clicking away from his messages and to the home screen. 

Zayn licks over his smile as he sees the wallpaper, a selfie they’d taken last Christmas. Liam’s cropped himself out, though, so it leaves just Zayn, Aashir and Soraya grinning wildly. Soraya’s tongue is poking out between her lips, a Santa hat hanging floppily over her forehead.

He remembers the day so clearly, both their families squeezed into their tiny house. Their mum’s fussing in the kitchen, Doniya moaning at Liam for burning the potatoes and the cluttering of a saucepan as he’d dropped the parsnips and spilt boiling water all over the wooden floor. Liam’s dad sending them both out, splutters of drunken giggles as they’d tumbled out of the room and joined Yaser with the children instead.

“I can’t wait to see your mum,” Liam sighs happily, curling an arm around Zayn’s shoulders. “S’ been too long.”

Zayn hums, nestling a kiss into the nape of Liam’s neck.

“S’ been two weeks, you dick.”

Liam scoffs, huffing out a laugh.

“As I said…too long,” he grins, poking Zayn in the stomach.

He rolls his eyes, glancing over at the kids.

Aashir is clambering up the steps of the slide, Soraya waiting eagerly at the bottom and cheering him on with a grin sparked over her lips.

He sees so many similarities between their children and Liam – the smear of crinkles around Soraya’s eyes when she smiles, the way Aashir would rather Liam read him comics than watch telly.  Harry Potter Soraya’s favourite story to be read at bedtime and the way Aashir fumbles a soft, shy smile over his lips with his eyes fluttering to his lap when anyone compliments him.

He blinks feathery eyelashes into Liam’s neck, reaching for his phone. Tapping in the passcode he drags up Liam’s photo collection, looking through his most recent pictures.

They’re mostly of Soraya and Aashir, stupid selfies they’ve taken using the snapchat filters. Several of the photos Tricia sent Liam when Zayn’s parents went to Italy, a couple snapped of Aashir’s most recent drawings. He frowns when he swipes onto a photo of himself, in their bed with a duvet dragged around his shoulders. His glasses are pressed over the bridge of his nose, a book in his lap and Loki nuzzled into his side. Light from the open window is shimmering glitters of light onto the sheets and along his neck, up over the curve of his jaw.

“Don’t delete it,” Liam says softly, humming a kiss over his forehead.

Zayn buries his frown into Liam’s scarf, confused as to why he has the photo saved on his phone.

“You look gorgeous in it,” he hears Liam mutter, lips pressed into his hair. “S’ all natural n’ just very _you_ , love.”

He hides the flush creeping along his neck into Liam’s shoulder, thumbing gentle fingers into the back of his hair.

He continues scrolling through the photos, Liam mumbling a laugh over his temple at one of Aashir, and wonders if the love tethering a heavy rhythm over his heart will ever quieten.

 

//

 

There’s a low murmur of the telly, Soraya laughing softly at the cartoons from her cross-legged position on the floor.

Zayn is on the sofa, Rhino at his feet and Aashir pressed into his lap. He’s got a notepad pressed over his knees, tiny hands smudging out greens and blues on the page. They’re both in their pyjamas, hair wet and cheeks flushed from a bath.  

He hears Liam call his name from the kitchen while he’s dragging his fingers through Aashir’s hair, an apologetic smile pressed over his son’s cheek as he slips himself from their position and lets Aashir spread out on the sofa.

“I’d like t’ say I’ve been all romantic and planned out our date, but I haven’t,” Liam says as he pads into the room, dipping his smile into his tea. “Where’d you wanna eat, babe?”

Zayn shrugs, leaving a kiss to Liam’s shoulder from behind his position at his laptop.

“I don’t mind,” he mumbles, kissing along Liam’s neck.

He smiles as he feels Liam relax at the touch, lips exhaling a slow breath as he sinks into the chair.

“You sure you wanna go out?” Zayn asks, sliding his arms down Liam’s chest and burying a smile into the crook of his neck. “I know work’s been tough lately and you’re exhausted…we could stay ‘ere and order pizza instead?”

He feels Liam shake his head, sighing into Zayn’s hair.

“I want t’ take you out,” Liam mumbles, mouth tracing into a yawn. “S’ been months since we’ve gone out n’ I miss you.”

Zayn mouths out a grin over Liam’s skin, dragging soft touches over his chest through his shirt.

“I’m right here,” he whispers, coating Liam’s neck in wet kisses.

“Stop it,” Liam whines, voice quiet but contradictive as he rolls his head to one side, allowing Zayn more room. “Y’ gonna make me hard and Niall and Haz will be here any minute now.”

Zayn huffs a laugh into the nape of Liam’s neck, pulling away and burying his lips into Liam’s hair instead.

“I want Chinese,” he mumbles after several moments, rubbing his hands into the tight muscles coiled in Liam’s back.

“But –”

“Nothing fancy, Li,” he sighs, watching Liam’s expression through the reflection on the laptop. “Just…want you, jaan. We can go to that small place on the corner near Lou’s, yeah?

Liam nods, tilting his head back and puckering his lips. Zayn leans down to kiss him, grinning over his mouth just as the doorbell rings.

Soraya and Aashir are already at the door when Zayn gets there, impatient as he yanks open the door to meet Harry and Niall on the other side.

“Hi, gorgeous,” Niall grins as Soraya slings her arms round his waist, reaching onto her tiptoes until he picks her up. Harry shuffles past, kissing Zayn’s cheek and chuckling as Aashir tugs at his wrist, smiling.

“I swear you two get bigger every time I see ye’,” Niall says, walking through the hallway with Soraya clung to his torso.

“I swear Harry’s hair gets _longer_ every time we see you,” Liam grins as he walks into the hallway, dragging him in for a hug as Soraya and Aashir giggle at his comment.

“Nialler wants me to cut it,” Harry sighs, rolling his eyes and shrugging out of his jacket, hanging it on the stairs banister.

“I told you I changed me mind, babe,” Niall tells him, letting Soraya scurry from his arms and ask Liam to tie up her hair. “Not after we decided the other night it’s best for grabbing –”

“ _Niall_ ,” Harry hisses, eyes wide as he blinks a furious glance at the children peering up curiously and back to Niall.

Liam chokes, looping Soraya’s hair through a ponytail before glaring at Niall.

“Best for what?” Aashir asks, confusion swept over his expression.

Zayn flashes a desperate look to Niall, biting back his laughter at the fuchsia shade of pink pressed over his cheeks.

“Practising plaits, beta,” Liam says softly, exchanging a quick glance with Zayn.

“Like daddy does on Soraya’s hair,” Zayn mumbles, hiding his amused smile behind his palm.

Aashir nods, the curiosity fading from his face.

“Why don’t you go get your projects from school to show Uncle Ni and Haz, yeah?” Zayn suggests, watching them hurry up the stairs.

Harry shoves Niall as they disappear, huffing.

“I cannot believe I’m leaving my children with you,” Liam sighs, rolling his eyes and pacing into the kitchen to grab his wallet.   

“Please try not t’ swear in front of them,” Zayn says with a hopeful smile, leaning around the corner to look in the mirror and sweep a hand through his hair. “And no biscuits after seven, no matter how badly they beg you.”

“Got it,” Harry grins, kicking off his boots.

Zayn nods, eyeing Harry before he pulls him in for a tight hug. He’s black skinnies and the usual chiffon shirt hanging loosely from his wiry frame, hair dragged back messily and a fond grin tucked over his lips.

“No messin’ with me husband before we go out,” Liam pouts as he leans down to slip on some shoes, shrugging on a jacket.

It’s his leather one, the fit of the jacket tight around his shoulders and the collar pulled so he can just about make out the birthmark stained to Liam’s skin.

“He looks like he’s going te’ jump you, Payno,” Niall teases, and Zayn looks sharply away from Liam with a blush staining his cheeks.

Soraya and Aashir flit down the stairs carrying their books moments later, excited smiles mumbled over their mouths.

He’s a little distracted watching Liam fix a strand of his hair while he listens to Harry’s soft _‘wow babes, these look amazing’_ and laces up his shoes, sat on the bottom step of the stairs.

Harry is dragged through into the kitchen, Niall following and flipping on the kettle in between helping himself to the cookies in the biscuit tin.

Zayn pats down his pockets, checking for his wallet and phone.

“Bed time at eight,” he tells Harry with a firm look, ignoring the whines moaned from Soraya and Aashir’s lips. “Don’t let them tell you any differently.”

Zayn rolls his eyes as he sees the smug smile flicker over Soraya’s lips, shaking his head as he leans down to press a kiss into her hair.

“Be good, okay?” He tells her as Liam scoops Aashir into his arms, sitting him onto the counter and brushing his lips over his nose and then to his forehead. “Uncle Haz n’ Niall with help you if you need anything.”

Soraya nods, giggling through a whine as Zayn continues to pepper her face in kisses. She beams up at Zayn before scuttling across the room to Liam.

Aashir pads over the wooden floor with a pout pushed over his bottom lip, blinking up shyly.

“How long will you be gone?” He asks quietly, eyes flickering to the floor.

Zayn crouches down, pressing gentle touches to Aashir’s jaw.

“Not long, beta,” he says softly, brushing away the several stands of hair swept over his son’s forehead. “We’ll be just a phone call away, babe.”

Aashir nods, wrapping Zayn in a tight hug.

“Love you,” he mumbles into Zayn’s shoulder, arms coiled around his neck.

“I love you more, meri jaan,” Zayn whispers back, dipping a scatter of soft kisses into Aashir’s hair.

He gently pries Aashir’s arms away and whispers one last kiss to his lips before shuffling to his feet.

“See you in a bit, sweetheart,” Liam says to Soraya, placing her onto the floor.

He tangles his fingers with Zayn’s, towing him out of the doorway whilst blowing kisses to Aashir and Soraya over his shoulder.

“C’n you believe I still hate leaving them,” he tells Zayn with a muffled sigh when they’re in the car, fumbling with the sleeves of his shirt. “Six years and I still fucking hate it.”

Zayn wrinkles a smile over his lips, reaching for Liam’s collar before he starts the engine. He smothers Liam’s lips in a gentle kiss, fingers shying over his neck as Liam whispers a content breath over Zayn’s mouth.

“Would it be totally wrong if we shagged in the backseat?” Liam asks with a concerned frown, grinning when Zayn rolls his eyes and leans back into his seat, twisting the keys in the ignition and backing out of the drive way.

 

He loves the Chinese place on the corner. It’s slightly rundown, the light flickering every so often and a draft blowing from a sizeable crack in one of the windows, but the food is incredible. Liam lets Zayn order for him, as he always does, and they get six dishes brought to their table.

It reminds him of their first date, a tiny takeaway place several blocks from their university campus. It wasn’t much, but it was all they could afford. He brushes a smile into Liam’s neck as he remembers them arguing over who paid, eventually ending with Liam paying for their meals and Zayn paying for drinks. Mind a little tipsy from too many glasses of wine, the spices pressed over his taste buds as Liam had kissed into his mouth.

They cosy in the corner, legs tangled beneath the table on the bench seated by the window. Liam drags Zayn closer so that he’s almost in his lap, an arm draped around the back of the seat but fingers tickling soft touches over Zayn’s shoulder.

“D’ you know Soraya has a boyfriend?” Zayn asks in between mouthfuls of naan, Liam teasing a finger over his lips as crumbs spill from his tongue.

He feels Liam still, a frown crumpling his smile as he shoots a curious look towards Zayn.

“She _what_?”

Zayn muffles a giggle, feeding Liam a cluster of noodles and sweeping a thumb to the corner of his mouth at the sauce staining his skin. He glances at the horrified expression painted over Liam’s face, biting over a laugh.

“Don’t look so worried, jaan,” he grins, scratching a hand through Liam’s hair. “She’s four.”

“Exactly,” Liam says with wide eyes, scowling.

Zayn rolls his eyes and hums a kiss to Liam’s jaw.

“Stop being silly,” he whispers, coaxing Liam’s lips to his. He smiles as Liam kisses him back, tasting the red wine staining his tongue and the korma as he licks over his teeth.

“She’s not allowed to have boyfriends until she’s at least thirty,” Liam huffs, sighing a sharp breath into Zayn’s hair. “Or girlfriends, obviously, just… _no_. She’s growing up too fast, babe.”

“Liam, she’s _four_ ,” Zayn repeats, wrinkling a smile into Liam’s neck. “We c'n re-evaluate when she’s eighteen, babes.”

“No dating when she’s bloody eighteen,” Liam scowls, narrowing his eyes.

Zayn snorts into the nape of Liam’s neck, burying a gentle kiss over his birthmark.

“I was eighteen when I met you,” he says softly.

“I know,” Liam mumbles, letting Zayn feed him a forkful of rice. “We shagged in between classes and I think you fucked me in Niall’s bed, once.”

Zayn wrinkles his nose, brushing a laugh over Liam’s neck.

“Good point,” he says with a smile, slotting his fingers between Liam’s.

He feels Liam sigh into his hair, a kiss breathed over his temple.

“Uni seems like a lifetime ago,” he whispers, biting off a piece of chicken and coaxing the rest into Zayn’s mouth.

Zayn nods, chewing before a giggle slips from his mouth.

“’Member the first time y’ got high?”

Liam groans, laughing breathlessly.

“Don’t,” he warns in between fits of giggles, shaking his head.

Zayn chokes a laugh into Liam’s neck, eyes fluttering shut as he nudges a kiss over Liam’s skin and remembers the night so clearly. The tears stroking Liam’s cheeks, Niall’s cackling laughter behind them as Liam had sobbed through a watery ‘ _y’ just so_ pretty, _babe – like, that’s so fucking_ unfair. _’_

“I was a bad influence on you,” he mutters into Liam’s neck, pulling away to see the smile staining Liam’s lips.

“Still are, sweetheart,” he whispers back, nudging a kiss to Zayn’s jaw and stroking his thumb into Zayn’s palm.

 

//

 

“Can we get ice cream, baba?”

Zayn shakes his head, squinting slightly as he reads the pasta labels lined up on the shelf.

“No, babe.”

Soraya huffs, crossing her arms over her chest in frustration.

“But daddy promised that he’d get me ice cream,” she whines from the seat in the trolley, her forehead wrinkled into a frown.

Zayn sighs, because _of course_ he did.  

“Daddy can take you out for ice cream at the weekend,” Zayn says softly, nudging his thumb underneath Soraya’s chin. “If you’re good and finish all your spellings tonight.”

Her lips quirk into a smile, head nodding as she stares happily up at Zayn.

He grins, leaning down to press a kiss to her head before blinking up the aisle to keep watch on Aashir. He smiles fondly as he sees Aashir look back to check they’re still there, eyes tired and hair still wet from swimming. His tiny hands are tucked into his pockets, school shoes squeaking along the floor.

Zayn continues to place items into the trolley, smile bright as he listens to Soraya’s commentary of what she learned in class, her gentle face lit up with excitement as she tells Zayn how she managed to count to one hundred.

“You’re a little genius, babe,” he tells her softly, ruffling a hand through her hair and chuckling under his breath as she squirms and giggles relentlessly.

Aashir runs back up the aisle, reaching for Zayn’s hand and clinging tiny fingers to his palm.

“Can we get pineapple, baba?” He asks quietly, eyes hopeful as he peers up at Zayn from behind the fringe fraying over his eyelashes. Zayn nods and tickles the hair away from his eyes, threading his fingers through Aashir’s.

“Course, babe.”

“What!” Soraya shouts, mouth hanging wide in a scowl. “How come Aashir gets to pick what we put in the trolley?”

Zayn hushes her, smiling at the woman who passes them with a giggle pressed behind her palm.

“Pineapple is healthy, Aya,” he says. “Ice cream…not so healthy.”

Soraya pouts, scrunching her face up in a disappointed frown. The resemblance to Liam is ridiculous and Zayn can’t help the fond laugh slipping over his tongue as he pulls out his phone to take a photo.

“Gotta stay healthy, sweetheart,” he tells her softly, shoving his phone back into his pocket. “It’ll make you big and strong.”

Soraya huffs but within minutes she’s telling Zayn more about her day and how she let a boy named Archie share her fruit because he didn’t have any.

“Baba?” Aashir asks when Zayn is piling several bags of carrots into the trolley, listening to Soraya sing happily from the front. “Can we go see Daddy at work?”

Zayn smiles, fishing out his phone again.

“I’ll see, gorgeous.”

He taps at the screen for Liam’s mobile and whispers a gentle ‘broccoli, babe?’ to Aashir who nods and crosses the aisle to grab some.

Liam’s phone rings three times before he picks up.

“Hey,” he breathes into the phone, something a little clipped to his tone which makes Zayn frown. “Is everything okay?”

“Fine, love,” Zayn says, grinning and dragging out a thumbs up at Aashir who manages to lift the bag of broccoli into the trolley, pushed up onto his tiptoes. “Is everything okay with you?”

“Yeah, not too – Perrie, can you put those on my desk?” He interrupts, a rustling of paper heard in the background before a door closes. “Sorry, babe. Everything’s fine, just a bit hectic today.”

“Is now not a good time to drop by?” Zayn asks, chewing on his lip as he sees disappointment spread over Aashir’s soft face.

“No, that’s. Come, please,” Liam says, laughing a little shakily. “Everything is pissing me off today and I want to see my little angels.”

Zayn fumbles a grin, nodding towards Aashir and watching his face light up.

“And you, f’ course,” Liam adds, voice a little softer than before.

“Okay, we’ll be round in half an hour,” Zayn tells him, ignoring the way his heart familiarly stumbles at Liam’s gentle words.

Liam calls a ‘bye, love you!’ through the phone before he hangs up.

He pushes the trolley up the cereal aisle before leading Aashir to the counter to pay, Soraya rested on his hip as he retrieves items from the trolley and places them onto the conveyer belt. There’s a fond smile proudly pressed to his lips as he listens to Soraya happily chat to the cashier, a giggle ducked into her hair as she grins through ‘ _your hair is really pretty, I want mine that long but daddy says I have to wait until I’m a big girl’._

He drives to Liam’s work with Aashir and Soraya in the back, Aashir tapping out the beat to the song on the radio while Soraya sings out the wrong lyrics.

They’re greeted by Perrie at the front desk when Zayn pushes through the heavy door, a grin springing to her lips as she sees Soraya and Aashir running over.

“Hiya, pet,” she exclaims, tucking a strand of lilac hair behind her ear.  “I’ll send you straight up.”

Zayn smiles, encouraging Soraya into his arms as she reaches up to him.

“Thanks, Perrie!” He shouts as they step into the lift, Aashir huddling into his side.

“Wait at the door, babe – yeah?” Zayn calls as Aashir skips down the hallway, slowing down as he reaches the door to Liam’s office.

Zayn shifts Soraya onto his left hip as he peers through the glass door, seeing Liam looking out the window towards the far end of the room. There’s a phone pressed to his ear and when he turns Zayn recognises the wrinkles pressed over his forehead, the sharp pinch of his brow and fidgeting fingers fiddling with the bottom of his tie. He looks exhausted, heavy bags underneath his eyes and his hair dishevelled across his forehead.

He catches the sigh when Liam looks up and sees them waiting at the door, lips muttering something before he hangs up the phone and tosses it frustratedly onto his desk.

“Daddy!” Aashir beams, running into Liam’s open arms as he crouches down to Aashir’s height.

“Hey, my little man,” Liam smiles, relief sweeping over his expression as he lets Aashir hook his chin over Liam’s shoulder. Soraya struggles out of Zayn’s hold to hop onto Liam’s back, arms wrapping around his waist from behind.

“How was swimming?”

Aashir pulls away, his excited smile brightening Liam’s expression.

“I did a whole length by myself!”

“A whole length?” Liam asks, his jaw dropping as he gasps for emphasis. “I’m so proud of you, Aash.”

Aashir smiles, almost glowing at Liam’s praise.

“Can you come and watch me next time?” He asks, splaying his palms over Liam’s cheeks.

Liam nods, dropping a kiss to Aashir’s forehead and brushing a hand up his back.

“Of course I will,” he tells him softly. “Why don’t we go on Friday after school, too? While Soraya is at Sophie’s party.”

“Just us?” Aashir questions, chewing over his lip.

Liam smiles, nodding.

“Just us, babe,” he grins, chuckling as Aashir throws his arms around Liam’s neck and pulls him in for another hug.

Zayn wanders across the room and to the window taking up the majority of the far wall. It’s raining, a heavy canopy of miserable cloud hanging over the town. Zayn loves it here – he’s reminded of the excited grin clinging to Liam’s expression when he’d told him that he’d got his first job, the soft clinking of champagne glasses when they’d cuddled in the small sofa in the corner after Liam had moved into his own office following a promotion.

He’s pulled away from his thoughts when he hears Soraya’s giggling ‘let’s play on the spinny chair, Aash!’ and Liam’s fond laughter pressed into Aashir’s hair before he releases him and lets them run over to the desk.

“Hi,” Liam smiles as he approaches Zayn, a quick kiss touched over his lips before he’s leaning against the window and looking over the dreary view.

“Y’ alright, love?” Zayn asks, reaching for Liam’s hand to tangle their fingers together.

Liam flashes a soft look towards him, thumb stroking affectionately over Zayn’s knuckles. Zayn forces a smile over his expression but can’t help the worry stinging his thoughts as he hesitantly stares at Liam’s watery eyes, exhaustion laced to every feature.

“Bad day?”

Liam nods, scratching forcefully over his scalp before Zayn’s fingers replace his and soothing touches are dragged through his hair.

“Fucking shit,” he whispers, eyes glancing across to Soraya and Aashir. “Looks like I’m going to be here pretty late tonight.”

Zayn sighs, shuffling closer to Liam.

“We need to talk,” Liam mumbles nervously, squeezing Zayn’s hand. “Like, later. When the kids are in bed.”

Zayn cocks his head to the side in confusion but smiles through an _‘okay, babe’_ while chasing a kiss to Liam’s cheek. There’s a deep frown furrowing Liam’s brow, wrinkles worrying his forehead as he chews along his lip. 

Zayn straightens out Liam’s tie and fumbles another kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“On a scale of one to ten how bad is this talk going to be?” Zayn asks with a grin, smoothing out Liam’s collar.

He doesn’t miss the way Liam’s lips turn up at the corners as they both remember ‘on a scale of one to ten how freaked out would you be if I told you I loved you?’ that Liam had written onto a post-it note and tucked into Zayn’s edition of The Kite Runner after four months of secret kisses and messy blowjobs in between classes.

“Seven?” Liam sighs, lips soft over Zayn’s forehead. “I don’t know, maybe an eight?”

Zayn nods, draping his arms around Liam’s neck.

“It’s not a ten,” he says gently, kissing over Liam’s lips. “Anything below a ten we c’n deal with.”

Liam smiles, nudging his nose over Zayn’s.

Zayn reluctantly pulls away when there’s a knock on the door, Perrie popping her head round with guilt etched to her expression.

“Mr. Forbes is on the line?” She says, attention diverted for a second as she acknowledges Aashir spinning Soraya on the chair with a fond grin. “He says it’s important.”

“Okay – thank you,” Liam hums, another sigh breathed over Zayn’s forehead when Perrie closes the door.

“We’ll get going,” Zayn says quietly, leaving a gentle kiss to Liam’s lips. “See you tonight, babe.”

Liam runs a hand through his hair and says goodbye to Aashir and Soraya, dipping his lips into Zayn’s hair before they go.

“There’s a smoothie and some other bits in the bag, Li,” Zayn tells him as Aashir grabs a hold of his hand and Soraya reaches for the door handle.

“You keep getting better,” Liam grins, blowing him a kiss and calling out a soft ‘I love you!’ as they wander up the hallway.

 

//

 

Zayn is propped up against the headboard of their bed, a book fumbled in his tired hands and his glasses sat crookedly over the bridge of his nose. The house is silent, Loki chewing on a sock towards the foot of the bed and Soraya and Aashir asleep down the hallway.

He’s almost asleep by the time Liam gets home, quiet footsteps downstairs blinking his eyes open.

There’s shuffling downstairs for a while until Liam is treading careful steps up the stairs, two mugs of tea in hand as he appears in the doorway. He rests them on the bedside table next to Zayn, pressing a kiss over his forehead before disappearing down the hall.

Zayn hears the door of Aashir’s room open, a creak of the floorboards and Liam’s gentle voice ushering a whisper of something Zayn can’t quite make out. He strips back the duvet on Liam’s side and places his glasses to one side as he hears Liam leaving Soraya’s bedroom, a flutter of nerves in his stomach.

“Hey,” Liam whispers softly, pushing the door closed gently and wandering over to the chest of drawers while removing his jacket and shirt.

Zayn chews over his lip while he watches, sipping at the tea to calm the stress laced to the back of his throat. Liam slips into a pair of pyjama bottoms before padding into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

It feels like an hour until he’s back in the bedroom, crawling over Zayn’s legs to his side of the bed.

“C’mere,” Liam mumbles, dragging the sheets up to his waist before leaning into Zayn’s side. He presses gentle fingers to Zayn’s jaw, lips brushing over Zayn’s so softly.

Zayn smiles when he pulls away, nestling a hand towards the back of Liam’s hair.

“What did y’ wanna talk about?”

He watches as guilt melts over Liam’s face, his eyes quickly diverted away from Zayn as he anxiously clears his throat.

“Babe,” Zayn whispers, stroking soft touches over Liam’s skin. He shuffles closer until he’s practically in Liam’s lap, knees huddled up against his thighs.

Liam nods, sighing.

“I had a meeting today with the CEO of the company,” he says quietly, fingers digging into Zayn’s waist. “Just company cuts and totals, that sort of thing.”

Zayn traces the curve of Liam’s jaw, listening.

“They’re – er, moving the firm,” Liam mumbles, eyes dropping to his lap. “As in, transferring everyone to a new location.”

Zayn frowns, confused as he blinks at Liam’s averted stare.

“Can they do that?”

Liam shrugs, squeezing Zayn’s waist.

“Apparently they can,” he says, biting into the inside of his lip. “It’s like, four hours from here.”

Zayn stays quiet, his stomach dropping.

“I talked it over with them and suggested working from home, maybe commuting once or twice a week up to Manchester but they completely ruled that one out,” Liam sighs, a sharp frown slicing worry lines over his skin that Zayn attempts to smooth out with gentle fingers. “S’ too far for me to travel every day, I’d spend most of my time on a train and not here.”

Zayn nods, teeth digging into the flesh of his lower lip until it’s too painful.

“So, there’s not really anything I can do. The only options I can think of are, well…we move, or I resign.”

Zayn flashes a sharp look at Liam, raising his head with fingers propped under his chin.

“There’s no way in hell that you’re quitting.”

It’s silent for a moment, Zayn’s chest sinking with disappointment as he thinks of them moving. He thinks of being far from his mum, Liam’s family. Far from the house they bought after they signed the adoption papers, the home that they raised Aashir and Soraya in.

“I’m not ready to leave, though,” Liam whispers, voice a little rough like he’s swallowing down a lump in his throat. “All my best memories are here.”

Zayn winces, sighing as Liam leans his forehead against Zayn’s.

“I know, babe,” he mumbles, Liam’s fingers delicate at the bottom of his spine. “I didn’t think that we’d be leaving here until Aash and Aya were all grown up… but Li, you can’t just leave your job and start over.”

Liam shrugs, limbs heavy in Zayn’s hold.

“Maybe I can, if it’s what’s best for us.”

Zayn shakes his head, brushing a stern ‘no’ over Liam’s lips.

“I won’t let you give up what you’ve been working towards for seven years, Liam,” he sighs. “I’d be a shit husband if I did.”

A watery smile clings to Liam’s lips, eyes brushing closed.

“You’d never be a shit husband,” he hums out, cuddling Zayn closer in his lap.

Zayn stays silent and presses his face into Liam’s neck, listening to the familiar flutter of a heartbeat.

“When are we moving?” He asks after a while, warm breath fanning out over Liam’s skin.

He hears Liam exhale sharply, shaking his head.

“We’re…Zayn, we can’t decide anything yet, baby.”

“I’m making the decision for you,” Zayn whispers. “I’m not letting you put everything you’ve worked for behind you.”

He can’t help the sadness clinging to his heart, the sob deep in his throat and threatening to spill. Despite being huddled into Liam’s warmth he feels cold, unable to picture them in a house anywhere but here.

“Three months,” Liam says eventually, tightening his grip around Zayn like he knows his words will crush him. “They said if we decide to go the company will help with moving and buying a house.”

 Zayn sighs, roughly tugging his teeth over the soft flesh of his bottom lip.

“Zayn?”

He hums in response, hiding in Liam’s neck and marking his fingers over the tattoos inked to Liam’s arms.

“I love you,” Liam whispers, lips so gentle over his forehead that Zayn has to hold back the whine tight in his throat. “Ever since you turned up to that party dressed as the Green Lantern four weeks into the first term.”

Zayn presses a nostalgic smile over the birthmark staining Liam’s neck.

“You…I know how much you love this house,” he says, voice timid as he speaks so softly under his breath. “We don’t have to do this – I can find something else.”

“Leeyum –”

“Baby, listen,” Liam whines, fingertips tickling over Zayn’s stomach. Zayn buries a quiet kiss into the crook of Liam’s neck. “I love my job, but I love you and our children more. And, if you don’t want to go…then we won’t. Our family is the most important thing to me.”

Zayn smiles, pulling away to trace Liam’s lips with his own.

“You’re getting so soppy in your old age,” he teases, giggling as Liam rolls his eyes and scowls.

“Can you…Zayn, just sleep on it – yeah?” He asks, voice tired and eyes exhausted as he blinks at Zayn from behind heavy eyelids.

Zayn nods, cupping Liam’s cheeks with his palms and mumbling a sleepy kiss over his lips.

“Yeah,” he says softly, thumbing over the crinkles smudged around Liam’s eyes as he smiles.

 Liam shifts until he’s lying with his head on the pillow, arms gently pulling Zayn with him. He leans over and flips the lamp switch, absorbing the room in darkness. There’s a pool of light flooding in from beneath the door, the hallway brightened for Soraya and Aashir.

He hears Liam mumble a faint, ‘I love you’ into his hair as he slides his arm across Liam’s stomach and brushes his toes over Liam’s ankles, legs a tangle of limbs beneath the covers.

“Love you more, babes,” he whispers, smoothing a soft kiss over Liam’s chest before nuzzling his head into Liam’s pillow.

He soon hears Liam’s heavy breathing but stays awake for another hour, attempting to untangle the bundle of nerves compressed in his stomach, before drifting off.

 

//

 

Zayn pushes through the front door to hear Justin Timberlake pouring from the speakers in the kitchen, Liam’s angelic voice singing through the lyrics.

He kicks off his shoes and places them in the rack by the stairs, hanging his jacket on the pegs above. A smile settles over his lips as he feels warmth spread over his body, a lovely contrast from the harsh wind outside.

He leans into the doorway, pausing with a grin brightening his expression.

There’s chicken frying in a saucepan on the stove, another couple filled with vegetables and a wooden spoon in Liam’s hand as he dances around the kitchen. Soraya is on his hip, her arms curled around Liam’s neck as she sings along to the song in between giggling at Liam’s moves. Aashir is stood on top of the island in the centre of the room, a bottle of ketchup posed as a microphone as he blurts out the lyrics at Liam, grinning as Liam takes his hand and spins him under his arm on the surface.

Zayn sighs contently, fondness clinging to every part of him as he watches Liam with their children.

After several moments he pads across the floor, swooping Aashir from his feet and into his arms. He laughs softly at the shriek escaping Aashir’s lips.

“Baba, you scared me,” he mumbles, smiling as he nuzzles his face into Zayn’s neck.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he whispers, nestling a kiss to Aashir’s forehead before sitting him onto the counter.

Soraya wiggles out of Liam’s hold and clings herself to Zayn’s leg, hugging him tightly.

“Our performance has been interrupted,” Liam teases, smiling softly as he pulls Zayn towards him with an arm wrapped around his waist.

“Shall we lay the table, Daddy?” Aashir suggests, reaching to the highest drawer to take the cutlery.

“Good idea, babe,” Liam says brightly, lips in Zayn’s hair. “Be careful with those, yeah? They’re sharp.”

Aashir nods, counting out the knives and forks before disappearing into the hallway.

“Go help your bhaiyya, Soraya,” Liam encourages softly, chuckling under his breath as Soraya pouts but follows Aashir out of the room.

Zayn smiles at Liam’s use of wording, appreciative that they’ve moulded Urdu into Soraya and Aashir’s vocabulary.

He huddles into Liam’s side and chases a kiss to his cheek, biting over the smirk clinging to his lips as he realises there’s an apron tucked around Liam’s waist.

“Are you okay with stir fry?” Liam asks, eyes flickering briefly to Zayn before he stirs the chicken in the pan with a spatula.

He nods, nosing over Liam’s shoulder and absorbing the familiar scent.

“How was the meeting?”

“Good,” Zayn tells him gently, placing his chin over Liam’s shoulder and easing a kiss to his neck. “Great, actually. They want to sell my new piece for twice as much as the last one.”

Liam lowers the heat from the stove and turns, ducking his head to pry a rewarding kiss to Zayn’s eager lips.

“Well done, babe,” he says fondly, smudging the pad of his thumb along Zayn’s cheek. “M’ not surprised they loved it, s’ one of the best you’ve ever done.”

Zayn shrugs, biting over his lower lip and pressing a quick kiss to Liam’s cheek before pulling away to follow the kids into the dining room.

Liam stops him, gently grabbing his wrist and pulling him back.

“M’ like, really proud of you, Zayn,” he adds, dimples pressed into his cheeks. “You know that, yeah?”

A smile twitches over Zayn’s lips and he briefly closes the gap between them, fingers curling around Liam’s neck as he utters a slow and lazy kiss over the soft flesh of Liam’s bottom lip.

“Course I know that,” he whispers, thumbing over the coffee-stain of a birthmark on Liam’s neck. “Always known that, jaan.”

Liam nods, content.

“Good,” he mumbles, leaning in to crawl a dry kiss over Zayn’s forehead. “Oh, and babe?”

Zayn hums, raising an eyebrow.

“Um,” Liam mutters, shy as he flutters a soft look towards Zayn. “I – er, found another house.”

Zayn feels his heart sinking in his chest, but he spills a bright smile over his lips.

“That’s great, love,” he says as enthusiastically as he can, flitting a quick kiss over Liam’s lips. “I’ll have a look after dinner, yeah?”

Liam looks a little suspicious but nods anyway, squeezing Zayn’s waist before he lets go.

Zayn turns and his smile immediately falters, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt until he has Aashir in his lap and can focus on Soraya telling him about her day.

 

//

 

He pads into Liam’s office once Soraya and Aashir are asleep, slipping himself into Liam’s lap in front of the computer.

“Y’ okay?” Liam asks softly, burying his chin over Zayn’s shoulder and wrapping warm arms around his middle.

Zayn nods sleepily, prying his toes between Liam’s ankles. He leans back into Liam’s chest, eyelids flitting closed as a careful kiss is placed to his earlobe and Liam’s fingers splay out softly over his stomach.

They fall quiet, Zayn noticing the moonlight fading a peaceful silver over the carpet through the curtains. There’s rain tapping hesitantly over the windowsill, a breeze pushing a shiver over Zayn’s bear arms from the open window.

He watches absently as Liam finishes typing an email before pulling up a spreadsheet, filling in various numbers as he breathes quietly over Zayn’s shoulder.

When he closes the documents Liam’s screensaver flashes across the screen, a photo of the four of them a day after they brought Soraya home. She’s in Zayn’s arms, several strands of dark hair swept over her head and cheeks a soft blush as she sleeps tranquilly amongst a bundle of mauve blankets. Aashir is pressed into Liam’s lap beside them, leaning over Soraya with curiosity brushed over his expression, cinnamon eyes wide and inquisitive. He’s so much younger, his hair shorter and face a little rounder.

Zayn smiles lazily, remembering the photo being taken. Karen and Tricia fussing over them to smile and look at the camera, but none of them could look away from Soraya. He remembers Liam’s fond grin pressed into his neck as Soraya had stirred in her sleep, reaching for Aashir’s hand and wrapping tiny fingers around his thumb. The surprise giggled over Aashir’s face, mouth hanging open as he’d looked excitedly to Liam and back to Soraya asleep in Zayn’s arms.

 “I loved that day,” Liam mumbles against his cheek like he can read Zayn’s mind, a smile coaxed over his skin. “Me mum couldn’t stop crying and I think y’ dad even wept a bit, too.”

Zayn smiles, snorting a quiet laugh.

“I woke up in the middle of the night to an empty bed and found you n’ Aashir sleeping in her room,” he recalls softly, blinking as Liam trails a kiss down his neck.

Liam sighs, falling quiet as he drags up Google and clicks around until a property site flashes over the screen.

Zayn chews over his lip and fumbles his fingertips to Liam’s wrist, feeling a stuttered pulse quicken beneath his touch.

“It’s close to the offices,” Liam tells him under his breath, voice uneasy and muscles a little tense underneath Zayn’s. “And, um. It’s close to a leisure centre with a pool…y’ know, so Aashir can carry on swimming.”

A spark of a smile flutters over Zayn’s lips at how thoughtful Liam is.

“There’s a school nearby which looks excellent, the facilities are great and they even have an art room and a club which I thought Aash would be interested in,” he whispers, smoothing an anxious kiss to Zayn’s shoulder. “Oh, and there’s a hall nearby that runs ballet classes on Saturdays – so Soraya can join, and I looked into the football club at the local park that looks promising, if she wants to carry on with football, too.”

Zayn turns to his head to catch the kiss Liam presses to his jaw, hushing him with gentle lips.

He scrolls through the photos of the house, forcing away the discomfort settled in his chest. The house is big; almost double the size of their home now. It’s gorgeous, huge windows and open archways throughout the place, a cobbled pathway leading to the front door with two potted plants sat either side.

Zayn stays quiet, noticing Liam’s increased breathing and how his fingers fidget along Zayn’s ribs uncomfortably.

“You don’t like it,” Liam sighs, pushing away Zayn’s hand from the mouse and backing out of the page. “S’ fine, we’ll find something else –”

Zayn frowns, brow pinched together. He turns in Liam’s lap, shuffling until he’s straddling Liam’s thighs.

“I like it,” he whispers softly, distractedly draping his arms around Liam’s neck. “It looks lovely.”

Liam bites harshly into his lip, flickering uncertain eyes at Zayn.

“Really?”

Zayn nods, fumbling a kiss to Liam’s lips.

“Really,” he says gingerly, blinking over the concern stained to Liam’s expression. “I love you, and I love that you’re trying to make this work, but babe. You’ve gotta stop worrying y’ self over this, okay?”

Liam looks confused, swallowing tentatively.

“We’ll do it together,” Zayn whispers, thumbing over Liam’s frown. “S’ not all your responsibility, meri jaan.”

Zayn doesn’t miss the way Liam’s face softens at his words, eyes affectionate and fond under Zayn’s gaze.

“Jaan,” he repeats softly under his breath, whispering kisses along Liam’s jaw as he feels Liam’s shoulders sink, his muscles relaxing.

“I just want to find the perfect place,” Liam utters, pinching delicate touches over Zayn’s hips beneath his top. “I know how much you love this –”

“Leeyum,” Zayn whines quietly, hushing him with a quick kiss. “I know…m’ sorry I haven’t been helping.”

Liam shakes his head but Zayn brushes another swift kiss to his lips before he can say anything.

“You’re putting too much pressure on y’ self – we’re doing it all together from now on, yeah?”

Liam sweeps a frowning look over Zayn’s face before slowly nodding.

Zayn lowers a kiss to Liam’s birthmark, brushing his fingers over the harsh stubble marked over his jaw.

“S’ go to bed, babe,” he says, twisting to turn the computer off before climbing out of Liam’s lap. “You look knackered.”

A smile sparks over his lips as Liam leaves a soft kiss to his head before heading to their room, Zayn following closely behind and turning out the light, leaving Liam’s study in darkness.

 

//

 

They leave Aashir and Soraya with Liam’s parents for the weekend and take the train up to Manchester to visit the house.

Zayn can feel the anxiety stirring within Liam, nerves covered with a bright smile and a smear of crinkles around his eyes. He holds Liam’s hand, fingers tangled between them tightly as the estate agent tours them around the place.

There are two extra bedrooms, the kitchen huge with a vast window pouring in light. The garden is massive, a small pond towards the back beneath a beautiful willow. Wooden floors, a rustic fireplace atmospherically placed in the living room, a spare room downstairs already designed as a playroom – perfect for Soraya and Aashir.

The house is flawless, but Zayn can’t seem to push the sinking feeling in his stomach.

 

//

 

He stands by the gate as Liam carries the last of the boxes outside.

It’s cloudy, a cold wind slicing over his skin. Pinpricks of rain fall over his bare arms, a shiver hollowing through his chest.

He hates that all their memories are condensed into a single van full of cardboard boxes, the house now empty as he stares at it.

He blinks, face blank as he acknowledges the ‘Sold’ sign standing in front of the gate. He can’t bear to think of somebody else living here, another set of parents raising their children. Another family huddled around the telly, laughing over cartoons or something they heard on the radio. Somebody else cooking at the stove, or watering the sunflowers growing along the bricked wall at the back of the garden.

He feels Liam beside him, fingers soft and calming as they thread through Zayn’s.

“Are you okay?” He says, voice a whisper as he presses himself into Zayn’s side and leans his forehead to Zayn’s neck.

Liam’s hair is wet from the rain, fingertips cold as they brush over Zayn’s skin.

He eventually nods, chewing over his lip.

It’s easier.

“I’m fine,” he nods, swallowing the trapped air in his throat as he squeezes into the palm of Liam’s hand.

His eyelids flutter closed as Liam places a gentle kiss into the crook of his neck, an arm sliding around his middle.

Liam stays quiet next to him, lips soothing his skin.

Zayn bites over his bruised lip, fading out the cars on the main road nearby as he remembers the day they moved in. How happy he’d felt, the smile clinging to his lips with the realisation that they had their _own place_. The Indian they’d eaten curled into an armchair, the crinkles around Liam’s eyes and the scatter of boxes in the corner.

Finally a bit of space, after months of living with Liam’s parents and then with his for a while. The first night spent on a mattress on the floor in an empty bedroom, soon to be filled with new furniture and memories.

“I’m fine,” he repeats softly, tilting his head to rest his forehead against Liam’s.

He refuses the tears threatening to spill, tracing Liam’s lips to forget.

He smiles when Liam whispers a quiet _‘I love you’_ into his hair, thumb stroking over Zayn’s knuckles until he’s ready to leave.

 

//

 

“I’ve got a surprise for you.”

A frown shifts over Zayn’s expression as he looks up to see Liam leaning in the doorway of the kitchen, watching over Zayn tacking photos to the fridge.

It’s too bear, too empty – he already misses the scatter of memories collected there.

He flicks Liam a questioning glance, smoothing over a photo of Liam and Aashir with a smile.

“I had t’ make sure they did it all perfect before I showed you,” Liam rattles on, tangling his fingers with Zayn’s and dragging him towards the stairs.

“What’re you talkin’ about?” Zayn asks, confusion swept over his brow as he sees the nerves pressing over Liam’s soft smile, the excitement heavy in his eyes.

Liam stops them before one of the closed doors upstairs, brushing a gentle kiss over Zayn’s lips.

“We have two spare rooms, yeah?” He says, a little shy as he fiddles with the hem of Zayn’s sleeve, thumb tracing over the buttons. “I have my office and I realised it never really made sense why I have my own space but you don’t have yours.”

Zayn pinches his brows together, chewing over the fragile flesh of his bottom lip. Liam just smiles, pushing open the door and guiding Zayn through first with gentle fingers drumming over the small of his back.

They step inside, Zayn flinching at the cold wood spread beneath his toes. He fists a hand into Liam’s shirt, a wrinkled smile brushed over his lips as he looks around.

There are several of Zayn’s paintings hung along the far side of the wall, studio lights following the wooden beams sloping the ceiling. A stretched window enveloping the room in the soft rose of the sunset, a table in the corner with various holders of pencils, pens and paintbrushes. An easel against an empty wall, a canvas of soft ambers and warm corals next to Zayn’s favourite armchair.

“Leeyum,” Zayn whispers, lost for words as he trails his eyes to the hopeful look painted across Liam’s face.

“I had them change the floors because the carpet was impractical, and I made sure it was this room because I saw you looking out the window when we came to visit,” Liam says softly, leaving an unsure kiss to Zayn’s cheek.

He chews on the inside of his lip, drumming anxious fingertips over Zayn’s hipbone.

“Do you like it?”

A smile flickers over Zayn’s lips as he notices the smaller easel in the opposite corner, Aashir’s sketches framed on the wall.

“I love it,” Zayn says quietly, noses brushing as he sighs over Liam’s lips. “How…you didn’t have to do all this.”

Liam shushes him, thumbing over the collar of Zayn’s shirt.

“Jus’ want you to be happy,” he smiles, brushing a shy look over Zayn’s face. “Y’ didn’t really have much space before to like, get away and just paint if you wanted.”

Zayn tangles his arms around Liam’s waist and pulls him in, burying his chin over Liam’s shoulder and breathing a content sigh over Liam’s jaw.

“You made me my own fucking studio,” Zayn mumbles fondly, unable to hide his grin as he shakes his head.

“Anything for you,” Liam whispers, and Zayn strokes over the silver wedding ring wrapped around his finger as he thinks _‘I fall in love with you a little more every day’._

 

//

 

He can’t sleep.

He’s used to a main road outside, car headlights seeping beneath the curtains and the occasional screech of tyres as vehicles drive past.

But here it’s so quiet, the only movements the ticking of the lock in Soraya’s room and Liam’s soft breathing beside him. The only familiarity a gentle heartbeat drumming steadily over his wrist, Liam’s body warm and comforting against his.

He cautiously untangles the arm draped over Liam’s waist, careful not to wake him with the realisation that this would’ve been easier if he was little spoon.

Shoving his glasses over his nose he pads quietly down the hallowing darkness of the hallway, meeting Aashir halfway.

“Can’t sleep?” He whispers, wrapping his arms around Aashir’s waist and lifting him up into a gentle hold.

Aashir shakes his head, burying a yawn into the nape of Zayn’s neck.

“Me too, Beta,” Zayn says softly, lowering a kiss into his hair as he toes down the stairs and into the kitchen.

“Milk and Power Rangers until we’re sleepy?” He suggests with a knowing smile, flipping on the kitchen light and letting Aashir brush a tired nod into his shoulder. He grins over his son’s forehead, pouring out two glasses of milk before they cuddle on the sofa, Zayn finding an episode on his phone.

They fall asleep with Aashir in Zayn’s lap, an unfamiliar stutter of anxiety coiled in his stomach as he tries to adjust to the dark walls confining him.

 

//

 

“Mrs Morgan showed me how to use pastels today,” Aashir beams in between mouthfuls of broccoli and pasta, Zayn grinning as he catches the crumbs falling from his lips and over his chin with his thumb. “When I finish my picture tomorrow I’ll bring it home so I can show you, baba.”

Zayn smiles softly, faltering slightly at the ‘home’ catching over Aashir’s tongue.

“That’s great, sweetheart,” he says, brushing a hand through Aashir’s hair. “I bet it’s wonderful, babe.”

Aashir beams, chewing through another mouthful.

“How’s school going?” Zayn asks as Soraya climbs into his lap, mumbling a kiss to his shoulder.

He slows his breathing, trying to steady the rush of his heart as he waits for a response. He can’t help but worry, the thought of his children feeling uncomfortable or anything far from happy seeping stress into his mind.

Soraya nods with a wrangled smile as she chews, shoving a thumbs up in front of Zayn’s face. He laughs softly, burying a kiss over the top of her head.

“There’s a dress up corner in my classroom,” she says with a smile, eyes wide and bright. “Today me and Freya dressed up as lions.”

Zayn muffles his laughter into Soraya’s hair, shaking his head fondly.

“Like Simba and Nala?” He asks, growling into her ear and pressing a soft kiss to her earlobe.

She giggles, pushing Zayn away with tiny hands.

“Yeah,” she grins, kneeling in Zayn’s lap.

There are dimples pressed into her cheeks, eyes lit up as she speaks excitedly.

“Can we watch The Lion King later?” Aashir asks from across the table, hope painted over his expression. “Please, Baba?”

“Course we can,” Zayn smiles, tangling his arms around Soraya’s tiny frame. “After baths, yeah?”

Aashir nods happily, Soraya grinning.

“How about you, Beta?” Zayn prompts, glancing gentle eyes at Aashir over the top of Soraya’s head. “Has school been okay?”

He holds his breath as Aashir shrugs, eyes shy.

“Is everyone being nice?”

Aashir is quiet for a moment before he nods, a flicker of a smile tracing over his fuchsia lips.

“I made a new friend called Jasper,” he says quietly, spilling warmth over Zayn’s chest. “He said my drawing was good and his favourite superhero is Spiderman like me.”

Zayn breathes a silent sigh into Soraya’s hair, relief sinking in. He smiles, proud and happy. There’s a constant worry filtered through his mind that Aashir will struggle, his shyness similar to the feeling Zayn fought whilst growing up. Years of separating himself from others, preferring to hide away and read or draw rather than play sports with the other boys in his class.

He smiles softly, stroking over Soraya’s hair.

“S’ great, jaan,” he says, finishing the last piece of chicken on his plate. “I love you.”

Aashir smiles, giggling as Soraya whines until Zayn mumbles the same words over her forehead.

His phone buzzes from his pocket, a message from Liam flashing across the screen.

**Will b home late tonight, office is crazy. Say goodnight to S and A for me x**

Zayn frowns, sighing as he wanders into the kitchen.

It’s the third time Liam’s been home after Soraya and Aashir’s bedtime, and he’s beginning to miss the excitement shifted over their faces when Liam walks through the door after work.

He texts back a quick **Ok love** **xx** followed by several silly emojis before grinning at Soraya and Aashir’s squeals as he chases them upstairs to run a bath.

 

//

 

Zayn wakes to an empty bed, stretching out over the mattress with a sigh muffled into his pillow, an unfamiliar cold running over his skin as he blinks himself awake.

Reaching for the nearest blanket he drapes it around his shoulders, shoving on his glasses as he stumbles out of the room and pauses in the landing. There’s a pool of light pouring from underneath Liam’s office door, a faint typing heard from the other side.

Zayn squints with one eye closed at the clock hanging on the wall, a frown crumpling his brow as he reads that it’s quarter to two in the morning.

“Li?” He whispers, reaching for the handle and blinking heavily at the light temporarily blinding him as he steps into the room.

Liam’s at his desk, eyes glued to the computer screen.

Zayn sighs, closing the door as softly as he can before wandering over to Liam, crawling into his lap.

“Come to bed,” he pouts, his frown deepening as Liam flashes him a tiny smile before returning to typing his document.

He looks exhausted, eyes stained a little red with smears of heavy bags below. Dishevelled hair messily dragged over his forehead, shirt unbuttoned with his tie draped over the back of the desk chair.

“Liam,” he snaps under his breath, catching at Liam’s wrist and forcing his hands into his lap. “It’s too late for work, babe. Y’ look knackered.”

Liam hums a gentle smile, shrugging and flashing a tired look towards Zayn.

“Got so much to do, Z,” he mutters, words a little slow. “Got meetings all next week and –”

“It’s two in the fucking morning,” Zayn frowns, tangling his arms around Liam’s neck. “You gotta get some rest, Li.”

Liam brushes a soft kiss to Zayn’s forehead, but then brushes away Zayn’s hold.

“I don’t have time,” he says quietly, shaking his head.

Zayn sighs, cupping Liam’s cheek with his palm. A yawn parts his lips, eyes blinking shut as Zayn wanders a kiss to his jaw, stubble rough against his bottom lip.

“Please come to bed,” he whispers, brow pinched as he stares at Liam’s bloodshot eyes.

He shakes his head, sighing.

“Sweetheart, I can’t,” he mumbles back, reaching around Zayn to scroll through the pages on the computer screen. “I’ve got deadlines to meet.”

Zayn chews over his lip, watching the strain of Liam’s jaw.

“Fine,” he says quietly, standing to his feet.

Liam shoots him an absent smile before returning to the computer screen.

Zayn buries himself under the duvet after slipping back into bed, biting over his lip until he tastes metal over his tongue.

He suddenly feels so distant from Liam, so alone in this house. He puts off calling his mum – he knows hearing her voice on the voicemail message will make it worse.

Pulling the sheets over his head he filters through his favourite memories - Liam’s face when he’d seen him in his sherwani on their wedding day, flickers of deep reds and flickers of gold seeping through his mind. The confusion swept over Aashir’s face when he’d first seen snow, just over a year old. The giggle slipped between his lips when a flake had landed on his tongue, tiny hands clapping together.

He falls asleep remembering how he’d cried with Karen when they watched Toy Story 3, Soraya less than six months old curled asleep in his arms.

 

//

 

“Hiya, sunshine.”

A flicker of a smile shifts over Zayn’s lips as he hears his mum’s voice, a brightness to her tone that lifts his heart a little and steadies his breathing.

“How are you, sweetheart?”

Zayn stays quiet, fiddling with the sleeve of his shirt as he holds the phone to his ear, chewing over his lip.

He wants to cry, to let everything out – but he can’t quite bring himself to do it over the phone.

“It’s…” he trails off, sighing into the palm of his hand.  

He can hear the telly from the living room, Soraya and Aashir’s laughter and comments drowned out from the thick walls between them.

“I hate it,” he whispers, chest heavy. “I’m not happy here.”

He hears a sharp sigh from the other end of the phone, the closing of a door somewhere in the background.

“Oh, Zayn,” she says softly, her voice sad. “Does Liam feel the same? Is it not working out?”

The mention of Liam causes him to whimper and he rubs a hand behind his neck, sighing.

“He’s never here, mum,” he breathes. “He’s been working like crazy, I can’t… I haven’t had a proper conversation with him in fucking _weeks._ ”

He stumbles out a fumbled ‘sorry’ after swearing, Tricia quiet on the other end.

“I don’t know what to do,” he mutters, leaning back against the kitchen counter with his eyes closed, scratching a hand over the back of his head. “I’m so tired and _angry_ –”

He’s cut off by the jostling of keys along the hallway, Liam appearing in the door moments later.

“Is that him?” Tricia asks through the phone, voice a little strained and worried.

“Yeah, mum,” he says gently, flashing empty eyes towards Liam. “I’ll call you in a bit, okay?”

“Of course, angel,” she hums, “I love you.”

Zayn wrinkles a small smile that drops as soon as Liam looks up at him from kicking off his shoes.

He mumbles a soft _‘love you too’_ before ending the call, placing his phone on the counter and folding his arms across his chest.

A frown pinches over Liam’s brow, confusion swept to his eyes as he watches Zayn curiously.

“What’s wrong?”

Zayn snaps a sharp laugh, rolling his eyes.

“Are you kidding me?” He questions, voice low.

Liam’s lips part but no words fall, his frown only deepening.

“It was lovely of you to attend your children’s parents evening,” Zayn says, sarcasm laced to his tone.

He watches the confusion ease from Liam’s face, guilt replacing it.

“Shit,” he hisses under his breath, rubbing at his eyes. He flashes a desperate look towards Zayn, walking across the kitchen. “Fuck, Zayn – I’m so sorry.”

Zayn stays quiet, exhaling a ragged breath. He pushes Liam away as he comes closer, shaking his head.

“I can’t do this, Liam,” he says, voice still a whisper so that Aashir and Soraya don’t hear. “We can’t live like this.”

“What?” Liam asks, biting into the corner of his lip with confusion returned to his eyes. “What’re you talking about, babe?”

Zayn swallows, moving swiftly across the wooden floor to gently close the kitchen door.

“I haven’t seen you in weeks, Liam,” he snaps. “Have you even thought about that, or are you too busy with work.”

Liam sighs, tugging at the tie draped down his chest.

“You know I’m busy at the moment,” he says quietly, shrugging out of his jacket. “I’m so sorry that I missed their parents evening, I had a three hour meeting this afternoon and completely –”

“I’m not talking about the fucking parents evening,” Zayn hisses, anger flaring through him.

He refuses to let guilt sink into his veins as he sees the hurt laced to Liam’s expression, a frown shifted over his face.

“D’ you know how hard I’ve tried to settle us in?” He questions, anger tracing every word. “I’m here every fucking day, Liam, but you’re never here. You’re always at work or locked away in your office upstairs.”

Liam’s eyes flash up quickly to Zayn’s, widened. Zayn knows there’s anger filtering through him from the twitch of his lips, his jaw tightly strained.

“I’m working longer hours so that our kids can have a better life, Zayn,” he says, a confused combination of betrayal and irritation slicing through his words.

“Their lives aren’t any better if you’re not _in_ it,” Zayn snaps, exhaling sharply.

There’s a moment of silence, Liam running a distressed hand through his hair.

“I’ve tried my fucking hardest,” Liam says heatedly. Zayn notices how pale his skin is, the bags dark and heavy beneath his eyes. “I’ve done everything I possibly can to make you three happy. I know you were worried about coming here, I’ve tried to make it as easy for you as possible.”

“ _Worried_?” Zayn asks, laughing coldly. “I didn’t want to come in the first place.”

He regrets the words falling from his lips before he can keep them trapped to his tongue, eyes blinking closed as Liam’s face falls.

“Why the fuck didn’t you just tell me that?” Liam demands, flickering a glance to the door as he raises his voice. “I thought we’d been together long enough not to lie to each other.”

“I wasn’t going to make you give up the job you’ve been working towards for seven bloody years, Liam. You know I’d never do something like that.”

Liam shakes his head, bunching his jacket between clenched fists.

“Is it really that bad?” He asks, voice sharp. “I tried to make this home as comfortable as possible –”

“This house is not a _home_ ,” Zayn retorts, voice shaky and loud. “How can it be a home when my husband isn’t here anymore, when our children don’t fucking see their dad.”

Liam stares sourly at Zayn, jaw sharp and rigid.

“If you hate it so much why don’t you just get out,” he huffs, tossing his tie onto the table and running both hands over his scalp angrily.

Zayn scowls, heart achingly stuttered in his chest.

He crosses the room, grabbing his keys from the windowsill.

“What are you –”

“I need some air,” he snaps, avoiding the broken expression held in Liam’s eyes. “I can’t…I just need –”

Liam reaches for his wrist, stroking a thumb over his skin.

“I didn’t mean it,” he whispers, a frown buried between his brows.

Zayn yanks his arm away, sighing as he grabs hold of a jacket hanging next to the door.

“Tell Soraya and Aash I’ve gone to…see a friend, or something,” he says shakily, biting over his lip as he feels tears prick over his waterline.

He traces a glance over the lost look shifted over Liam’s face before slamming the door behind him.

 

//

 

He shoves himself down onto the garden bench, jostling away the pathetic sobs clinging to his throat.

It’s almost silent, a murmur of voices from inside the pub every time the door is pulled open and pushed shut. The pub garden is dark, dimly lit by a twinkle of fairy lights twisted into the trees around the edge and a streetlight hanging a flood of silver towards the back of the car park.

It’s cold, freezing almost, an icy wind cutting over Zayn’s skin beneath his jacket. He can’t help the wrecked laugh choked into the darkness when it begins to rain, heavy clouds hanging low in the starlit sky. He’s taken back to the tiny communal kitchen at uni, tucked into Liam’s lap as he’d explained what pathetic fallacy was in between lazy kisses, Liam’s brow furrowed in confusion.

The thought only makes him sadder, the tightening in his chest almost suffocating now.

He reaches for the pack of cigarettes mentally burning a hole in his pocket, fingers shaky as he feels warm drops of rain slide over his forehead.

He chokes over the first drag, a burn low in his throat that somehow makes the painful thoughts slicing through his mind a little more bearable. He clicks the lighter in his other hand over and over, tiny sparks of light in the thick darkness.

He’s onto his fourth cigarette when a car pulls up in the car park backing onto the garden, a set of headlights momentarily blinding him.

A door slams and Liam is pacing up the pathway, hair damp from the rain and his sleeveless shirt soaked through.

“Where are the kids?” Zayn immediately demands, anger suddenly running through him and his eyes widening as Liam comes closer. “Did you leave them at home?”

“What?” Liam asks, lips parted. “Of course not,” he snaps, glaring. “They’re in the car.”

Zayn flickers his eyes to the car to see the fluorescent blue from a screen lighting Aashir and Soraya’s faces in the back. He bites over his lip at the guilt taking over, eyes dropping to his lap.

“I came to find you,” Liam mutters into the cold. “Why are you –”

His voice cuts off, ice replacing the blood in Zayn’s veins as he peers up to see Liam’s eyes strained on his left hand. He’s suddenly aware of the cigarette propped between his finger and thumb, alerted eyes flashing to Liam’s.

“Leeyum –”

“What the _fuck_ is that,” Liam hisses, and Zayn’s unsure of what he’s thinking at the combination of emotions clinging to the sharp tone of his voice.

His tongue fumbles over his bottom lip, mouth suddenly dry as he stabs out the cigarette into the ashtray and stays silent.

He watches with confusion as anger drains from Liam’s face and sadness replaces it.  

“You…you’re smoking?” Liam asks, his voice barely a whisper.

“Shit,” Zayn mutters, eyes fluttering shut at the hurt laced into Liam’s voice. “I –”

Liam cuts him off, a confused frown pressed deep into his brow.

“You promised,” he whispers, voice cracking as he speaks in a half-whimper. “We made a promise... Never again, remember?”

“I fucking remember, Liam,” Zayn snaps, wincing.

He watches Liam take a small step back and feels like he’s going to throw up. The rain is ironically harder now, raindrops clinging to Liam’s eyelashes and matting his hair to his forehead.

“For us and for them,” Liam says, voice wrecked.

He looks so unsure as he looks over at Zayn, eyes a sad confusion that twist guilt and regret into Zayn’s veins.  

He exhales a shaky breath, tobacco pressed over his tongue and he hates that it’s the only thing he can taste.

“You promised you wouldn’t use them as an escape, Zayn,” Liam adds, telling him everything he already knows and digging the blades deeper into his heart.

“ _You’re_ my escape, Leeyum,” Zayn says, raising his voice.

Liam blinks at him with disappointed eyes, trembling lips adding to the guilt washing over him like a tsunami. “You haven’t been here. I’ve hardly seen you over the past four weeks and it’s _killing_ me.”

Liam whimpers, biting over his bottom lip.

“I’m trying,” he says quietly, his words hoarse. “I’m trying to be a good husband and a good dad and make sure we’ll be stable as a family.”

Zayn sighs, pinching over his wrist.

“I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

Liam huffs, eyes widening.

“Maybe you should’ve spoken to me before you resorted to cigarettes,” he says plainly.

There’s hardly any anger anymore, just exhaustion.

“Have you been drinking?” He asks, before Zayn can say anything else.

He frowns in confusion, shaking his head. 

“Good,” Liam sighs, mumbling quietly. “You can drive yourself home. I don’t want to be with you right now.”

Zayn swears his heart physically sinks in his chest. He wants to call after Liam as he abruptly turns and strides off back to the car, but the only thing he breathes is a crumbled whine. He feels like somebody is yanking is heart right out of his chest as he watches Liam sit into the driver’s seat, fingertips brushing away several tears from his skin before he turns to their children with a bright smile.

He stays there for another three hours, the pack of Marlboros sat helplessly on the table as he stares blankly at nothing. He declines a call from Liam but listens to the voicemail, the unsure and gentle ‘We’re not finished talking about this but please come home tonight…I don’t know what I’ll do if I wake up and you’re not here’ slicing through his insides.

He drives home at one, finding Liam asleep in Aashir’s bed with both Aashir and Soraya curled into his sides as they breathe quietly over his chest.

Broad shoulders that look so small curled up in the narrow bed, eyelashes still glossy from tears. His face buried into Soraya’s hair fanned out over the pillow, Aashir’s arm slung across his stomach with his head tucked into the crook of Liam’s neck.

They look so peaceful, and it rips Zayn apart.

He sleeps downstairs on the sofa to avoid how cold and empty their bed feels.

 

//

 

He’s woken the next morning to tiny hands dragging cautious touches through his hair, fingertips brushing over his hipbone through his hoodie.

Smiling fondly, he blinks his eyes open and whispers a quiet ‘morning, loves’ as he sees Soraya and Aashir blinking at him with soft eyes. They’re both dressed in their school uniform, collars folded neatly over their jumpers and Soraya’s hair pulled back into a fishtail plait resting over her shoulder.

He sits up, rubbing at his eyes before dragging his children closer to him with outstretched arms. They both giggle, Aashir nuzzling his face into Zayn’s neck and warming his heart.

“Y’ hair looks lovely, sweetheart,” he says softly, pressing his thumb over Soraya’s jaw.

“Daddy did it for me,” she beams happily, placing a kiss to Zayn’s palm.

Zayn smiles weakly, humming over her forehead.

“Did you sleep okay, meri jaan?” He asks Aashir. “No nightmares?”

Aashir shakes his head, flashing Zayn a toothy grin.

“Daddy slept in my bed which I think made them go away.”

Soraya pulls away and frowns at Zayn, tugging at his hand.

“Daddy said he was feeling really poorly last night,” she says, sadness laced through her voice.

“Yeah,” Aashir agrees, nodding. “He said that we were the only thing that could make him feel better.”

Zayn bites harshly into his lip to trap the whimper threatening to fall. He feels so weak, his heart sinking in his chest as he pictures the three of them cosied up in bed together.

“Where is Da – ”

“Okay, lovelies!” Liam exclaims, appearing in the doorway with a bright smile painted over his lips.

He looks tired, faded bags beneath his eyes and cheeks flushed.

Zayn shivers at the guilt flooding through him, focusing on the hints of honey in Aashir’s eyes rather than the thoughts of the previous night.

“Right, we have two schoolbags,” he says, passing them to both Aashir and Soraya as they hop up from the sofa and hurry over to Liam, giggling. “Two lunchboxes, two water bottles, two pairs of shoes…”

He leans down, pouting playfully and grinning when Soraya and Aashir giggle a quick kiss over his lips.

“…And my two beautiful children.”

Zayn runs a distressed hand through his hair and fiddles with the blanket sprawled around his shoulders.

“Say bye to your Abbu and then we can go,” Liam tells them fondly, disappearing into the hallway and returning moments later with two coats in hand.

“See you after school, Baba!” Soraya beams, stretching her tiny arms around Zayn’s waist in a hug.

“Bye,” Aashir says softly, climbing up onto the sofa to tangle his arms around Zayn’s neck. Zayn presses a kiss over his forehead, dragging a hand through his hair.

“Have a good day, beta,” he whispers, smoothing down Aashir’s collar. “I’ll be there t’ pick you up at three.”

Aashir smiles, smoothing a quick kiss to Zayn’s lips before skipping over to Liam.

“Li?” Zayn asks quietly after Soraya and Aashir have disappeared, their muffled giggles and whines heard down the hallway as they argue over whose turn it is to sit in the front.

Liam turns, one eyebrow raised in question. Zayn can’t make out his expression and he hates it.

“I…just, did you make sure Aashir has salt and vinegar crisps?” He says, blinking across at Liam before looking down at his lap. “They’re the only ones he likes.”

“Of course,” Liam says quietly, shifting his weight from his right foot to left as they fall into an uncomfortable silence.

“Does Soraya have her form for the trip next week?”

Liam nods, chewing on the corner of his lip.

“I put it in her bag last night.”

Zayn nods, sighing under his breath.

“I don’t know why you think I’m a bad dad,” Liam says quietly, under his breath so that Aashir and Soraya don’t hear from the hallway.

His voice is splintered, weak and sad as he stares down at Zayn with hopeless eyes. “I know I missed the parent teacher evening last night, but that was a mistake. I try just as hard as you.”

Zayn can’t help the breathless gasp tripping over his lips, pushing to his feet as he takes a small step closer towards Liam.

“I don’t think that,” he whispers, shaking his head frantically. “What… _Leeyum_ , I’ve never questioned that even for a moment.”

Liam shrugs, biting over his broken lip.

“Merely suggesting that I left them here by themselves just proves that you do,” Liam says in a disappointed undertone, fiddling with the car keys in his hands.

Zayn winces, pinching his eyes shut as he remembers their words last night.

“I’ve got to get them to school,” Liam says as there’s another burst of soft laughter from the hallway. “I called in work to let them know I won’t be coming in today…we can talk everything through when I get back.”

He shoots Zayn an ambiguous look before he hurries out of the doorway, leaving Zayn alone in the room.

He wanders into the kitchen, flipping on the kettle and running the hot tap to wash up the cereal bowls left in the sink. The warm water feels good over his skin, soothing the anxiety pooling in his stomach.

He pauses at the fridge, a whimper leaving his lips as he sees the pattern of photos arranged into a messy collage. A clutter of memories – several taken in their home back in Bradford and a couple of their families. He brings a hand to his mouth, releasing a sob into his palm as his eyes wander over the black and white polaroid of him and Liam on their wedding day. It hits a nerve, his eyes filling with tears as he stares at the laughter lines painted brightly over Liam’s skin, the ecstatic smile clinging to his lips.

Zayn moves to the counter, leaning his elbows onto the surface and burying his face in his hands. His eyes sting from the salty tears, his lip wounded from being bitten harshly into.

He wants to scream, to push everything negative away – but he just cries, sobbing recklessly into the palms of his hands.

He’s unaware of Liam returning twenty minutes later, eyes flashing to the figure paused in the doorway. His vision is a little blurry, fingers frantically forcing away the tears cascading down his flushed skin.

“Zayn,” Liam whispers, a frown harsh across his expression as he pads across the room and encourages Zayn into his chest.

He’s warm, firm arms wrapped around Zayn’s shoulders and it makes him cry harder.

There’s a lump in his throat that he’s unable to swallow, lips fighting for breath as he exhales a sharp sob into Liam’s chest.

“Do you still love me?” He chokes out, gasping for air.

Liam’s fingertips are soothing at the bottom of his spine, chin heavy as it rests on top of his head.

“What… _Zayn_ ,” Liam whispers in disbelief, pulling away. “Of course I still love you.”

Zayn whimpers, sighing at the loss of contact.

“I just…jus’ wanted t’ hear you say it,” he says, voice frail and cracked.

Liam stays quiet, blinking down at his feet.

“Li,” Zayn winces, reaching out to clutch the baggy material of Liam’s t-shirt. “I’m so fucking sorry for what I…did last night. For smoking, for what I said to you…shit – I wasn’t thinking straight and I was a mess and I…it’s not really an excuse but –”

“I’m sorry, too,” Liam whispers, chewing over his bottom lip.

He sighs, running a distressed hand through his hair.

Zayn whimpers when he takes a couple of steps away from him, distancing the space between them.

“Can we, I just,” Liam frowns, clenching his jaw together. “Can we talk about this? Like, everything? I feel so distant from you and…well, I hate it. We haven’t properly spoken about anything at the moment n’ I think we need to talk everything through, from the beginning.”

Zayn nods, sniffing and wiping his cheek with his sleeve.

The kettle is ringing beside him, Liam moving towards the counter to settle it.

“Go sit in the living room,” Liam tells him, his voice soft. “I’ll bring you a cuppa in, babe.”

Zayn can’t tear the small smile away from his lips at the _‘babe’_ rolling off Liam’s tongue. He paces feebly from the kitchen and drops down onto the sofa, rubbing at his eyes. Reaching for the teal, fraying blanket scrunched at the end of the sofa he settles it in his lap, curling his fingers into the material and bringing it up to his chest.

Liam’s teased him before about his attachment to it, but Zayn knows there’s always something fond behind his eyes as they remember the first time they had sex, squashed in the tiny single bed in Liam’s room. A collection of Liam’s comics tucked beneath the duvet, several of Zayn’s novels and sketches hiding between the sheets. The blanket Liam had wrapped Zayn in, between murmured giggles and a shy whisper of _‘I think I’m falling for you’_ , Zayn burying a sleepy kiss into the crook of Liam’s neck.

He’s always been a bit attached to the item ever since, and – cliché as it is, he’s always been more than a little bit attached to Liam since then, too.

He whispers a ‘thank you’ when Liam wanders in and places the mug in front of him on the coffee table, slouching into the sofa opposite.

There’s an Adidas hoodie hanging from his frame, his hair swept over his forehead and fraying over his eyelashes. He looks so soft and exhausted, and Zayn wants nothing more than to curl into his side and feel gentle arms around his body.

They fall into an uncomfortable silence, Zayn tugging over his lip until it feels raw. He flashes several glances at Liam, waiting for the frown battling Liam’s expression to subside after he works out what to say.

“Zayn,” he mumbles after several minutes, the clock in the hallway obnoxiously loud as he waits for Liam to continue.

“Can you – I… please just tell me what’s going on inside your head?”

Zayn nods, cocking his head to one side and sighing into the material of the blanket draped over his knees.

He swallows, the oxygen tight in his throat as he struggles to find the words.

“The house is great,” he starts, shifting his gaze away from Liam as his lips part in anticipation and he furrows his brow, listening. “I – s’ really great, babe. Soraya and Aash love their rooms and, I love the studio Leeyum – there’s so much space, and the neighbours are lovely, but…”

His voice cracks and he shoves back the sob loose to his tongue.

“There are no sunflowers growing against the back fence,” he whispers, feeling pathetic, “and I miss the heater breaking all the bloody time, and us having to wrap up in fifty fucking layers to keep warm…and I want the floors to creak, so that when you’d come home late I’d hear you swearing as you tried to tip-toe up the stairs so you didn’t wake up the kids.”

He breathes out a shaky laugh in between choking back the tears clinging to his lashes.

“I miss your mum making the Sunday roast and me mum fussing over the children, and – _fuck_ , I miss the way your eyes light up when you talk to my Baba about sports, and how you sneak quick kisses when nobody’s watching even though we’ve been married f’r seven years, Li.”

He flashes a wary glance towards Liam, pulling the blanket over his shoulders as he shies away into the sofa.

“I just miss it,” he mumbles shyly, thumbing over the ravelling threads pressed into his lap, “n’ I miss you.”

He whimpers at the hurt look traced over Liam’s features – the worry lines pressed into his forehead and his eyes soft and aching.

“You’ve been working so much…and I know the office is crazy at the moment, but I miss you waking me up with kisses. And I hate that you’re never here for dinner, because you miss Soraya and Aashir telling us about their day.”

Liam opens his mouth like he’s about to say something, but his lips press into a firm line and he tickles his nails underneath his chin.

“I’m trying so hard to make this work, Leeyum,” he whimpers, dragging the blanket over his chest. “It’s so fucking hard t’ try and make a new home and life for us when you’re not here half the time.”

Zayn exhales a slow breath, feeling a little warm at the relief spreading over his skin. It’s good to get it out, and he wish he’d done it sooner.

He waits patiently as they fall into silence, Liam chewing on the inside of his lip. Zayn knows he’s figuring out what to say, so he lets his eyes fall to his lap and traces the irregular shapes from the light glittering shadowing patterns over his legs.

“I know,” Liam whispers after several moments, his voice timid and gentle.

The shy laced to his voice is so unusual, and Zayn physically hurts as he flickers a soft look to his husband curled up on the sofa.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” he says quietly, tongue wetting his lips as he blinks at Zayn from behind feathery eyelashes. “I’m trying so hard to make everything stable at work, but I. I know I haven’t been here, n’ I’m so sorry, love.”

Zayn nods, swallowing the ache in his throat.

“Things will calm down soon, I promise,” he continues, sweeping hopeful eyes over Zayn’s. “I’ll be here more, and we can start over together.”

An unsure smile settles over Zayn’s lips, Liam’s words slowly soothing the butterflies flitting in his stomach.

“And we, we can plant more sunflowers,” he whispers, “and have our families up for a housewarming, maybe. I, um, I’ll get up earlier so I c’n come home before dinner and listen to my three favourite people tell me how their day was.”

Zayn shakes his head fondly, feeling the tears prickle over his waterline.

“We can make new memories, babe,” Liam says softly, biting over his lip. “We…we can make this work, Zayn.”

He nods, humming under his breath.

There’s another beat of silence, before Liam presses to his feet and toes over to Zayn, dropping into the sofa beside him.

An arm slips loosely around his waist and Zayn whimpers through a smile, burying his face into Liam’s neck. His eyelashes flutter closed at the sigh breathed into his hair, fingertips gentle over his hip.

“I’m still so angry at you,” he mutters over Zayn’s forehead, but flits a careful kiss to his temple.

Zayn winces, his heart stammering.

“Scale of one to ten?”

Liam huffs a laugh, burying his lips into Zayn’s messy hair.

“Five,” he says quietly, sighing.

Zayn nods, pulling away shyly and forcing himself to blink up into Liam’s tired eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers, “for smoking – and for, _fuck_ , Liam.”

His eyes drop to his lap, throat tight as he feels soft fingertips over the back of his neck.

“I don’t think you’re a bad dad,” he says as softly as he can, shifting his weight so that he’s sitting into Liam’s lap, thighs straddling Liam’s. “I’m so fucking sorry you thought that’s what I was implying…I, you’re the _best_ , Li.”

Liam sighs, and Zayn notices the way his eyes fall to Zayn’s lips.

“Leeyum,” he whispers, cupping Liam’s cheeks with the palms of his hands. “I was just angry and upset last night, I didn’t mean anything by it.”

He thumbs over Liam’s chin, the stubble pressing roughly over the pads of his fingers.

“Babe,” Zayn frowns, eyes widening as he catches the sad expression shifting over Liam’s face.

“You…it really hurt when you asked me if I left them at home,” he says under his breath, and guilt laces every nerve writhing in Zayn’s body.

In this tangle of rage and fighting he’s forgotten how fragile Liam is. He can see it behind his eyes, the despondency wrinkled over the frown holding together his brow.

“I’d _never_ –”

“I know,” Zayn interrupts him delicately, tracing the shape of his jaw with gentle hands. “Babe, _shit_ – I know you’d never do anything like it and I’m so sorry, Leeyum.”

Liam nods, raising his eyes to meet Zayn’s.

A watery smile is pulled over his lips and his hands wrap around Zayn’s waist.

“I hate fighting with you,” he whispers, voice coy and unsure.  

Zayn bites over the small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, tangling his arms around Liam’s neck.

“Me too,” Zayn whispers back, nudging his nose over Liam’s.

He’s unable to draw back the whimper clinging to his tongue as Liam leans forward and kisses him, lips dry and gentle over his. He’s missed the taste, Liam’s spearmint toothpaste and the sharp tang of orange slicing over his taste buds, a hint of caramel from his tea curled to the roof of his mouth.

Fingers drag lazily through his hair, eyelids fluttering shut.

He feels silly as he tastes the salty tears catching on his tongue, Liam parting them as he tastes them, too.

“I just missed you,” Zayn tells him, smiling as Liam sighs and a shaky grin chases over Zayn’s mouth.

Their kiss turns a little desperate, Zayn pressing his chest over Liam’s and shifting closer in his lap.

“I love you,” he hears Liam whisper when he breathes over Zayn’s lips, silently gasping for air.

His heart falters, fingers scratching over the birthmark pressed into Liam’s neck.

He eases another kiss to the corner of Liam’s mouth, crawling several more over his jaw and along his cheekbone.

“Love you, Li,” he breathes slowly, eyelids fluttering at the fingertips stroking smooth, delicate touches up and down his spine.

He rolls his hips to press closer, giggling over the groan leaving Liam’s lips.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, a stutter of a smile sparked over Liam’s mouth.

Liam’s hands are firm at his hips, fingertips gentle as they push underneath his jumper and brush cautious touches over his stomach and hipbones.

“Baby,” Liam whispers, Zayn trailing dainty kisses over his collarbone and along the nape of his neck.

“C’n we…” Zayn trails off, pulling away to drag kisses over Liam’s mouth. “Upstairs, love.”

He gapes as Liam somehow stands from the sofa with Zayn still in his lap, hands clutching at his thighs to keep him wrapped around Liam’s torso.

They stumble through the living room and to the staircase, a giggle clinging to Zayn’s tongue as they knock into the bannister and Liam hisses a curse at the doorknob pressing into his lower back.

Zayn kisses slowly, his hands entwined into the back of Liam’s hair as he pulls him unnecessarily closer. Unzipping the hoodie hanging from Liam’s frame, he marks his lips over the birthmark on Liam’s neck, happy as he sees the skin fade to a crimson red.

Liam stumbles a kiss to his forehead as he lays him carefully into the bed, one hand cupping the small of his back and the other behind his head to cushion the tiny drop onto the mattress.

More kisses are scattered over his skin, several buried into the crook of his neck and others mapped out over his chest and torso as his jumper is pulled over his head. It leaves his hair dishevelled, thick strands fraying over into his eyes until Liam nudges them away with gentle fingers and a following kiss mumbled over his hairline.

“Leeyum,” Zayn says under his breath, reaching to tangle his arms around Liam’s neck and drag him closer. “Babe –”

Liam whispers a dry kiss over Zayn’s bottom lip, arms slipping around his waist against the sheets.

“Yeah?”

Zayn flits a small smile to his lips, thumbs sweeping over the laughter lines smudged over Liam’s skin.

“C’n you… just, Li,” he mumbles, chewing over his lip. “Just, be gentle with me – okay?”

Zayn doesn’t miss the way that Liam’s face softens almost immediately, a fondness clinging to his expression that strokes a blushed glow over his cheekbones.

Liam lightly nudges his nose against Zayn’s, a slow and lazy kiss pressed into his mouth.  

“Of course,” he says softly, a tender smile tucked affectionately over his lips as he blinks down at Zayn with warm eyes. “Always, sweetheart.”

Zayn lifts his head off of the mattress to paint more kisses over Liam’s lips, shivering at the way Liam drags delicate touches down his sides; over his ribs and fingertips marked over his hips.

Straddling Zayn’s waist, Liam sits up to shrug off the unzipped hoodie loose at his shoulders. He tosses it somewhere around the bed, but Zayn is too busy scratching heavy glances down Liam’s bare body to care.

“You’re so –”

Liam cuts him off with a sudden but soft kiss over his open mouth before he can finish. He frowns, but Liam thumbs over the lines scratched over his forehead and strokes into the nape of Zayn’s neck with his lips.

He wants to mouth compliments over every single freckle placed so perfectly to Liam’s skin, but he’s a little distracted by the fingers unzipping his jeans. He whispers a whimper into the pillow when Liam palms over his cock through his boxers, vocal chords suddenly tangled as he tries to breathe Liam’s name.

“ _Li,”_ he manages, eyelids flitting closed as Liam strokes delicate fingertips over his nipples, nails scratching a little and dragging out another moan from his lips.

Liam’s mouth sucks gentle kisses down his front, tongue tender over every tattoo marked to Zayn’s skin. He clutches the sheets until his knuckles are a faded white, Liam’s fingers tugging down his boxers.

A desperate whine clings to his tongue as Liam sucks over the head of his cock, lips slicked with spit as he eases on further. He licks along the underside, swallowing down until Zayn’s cock hits the back of his throat.

“Fuck, babe –” he moans, Liam flickering soft eyes up to Zayn.

He licks over the crown, slurping until Zayn bites a cry into his palm and lifts his hips eagerly from the mattress. His spine aches a little from the way his torso is twisted from arching his back, thighs already trembling.

“Patience, sweetheart,” Liam tells him quietly as he lifts his head, whispering kisses into Zayn’s thighs and smiling over the breathless sigh poured into the pillow as Zayn’s fingers slip into Liam’s hair.

He breathes a wrecked whimper when Liam wraps his hands around his ankles and bends his knees, mouthing kisses until he’s pressing his lips over Zayn’s hole.

“Leeyum,” Zayn whispers, watching with fluttering eyelids.

He swirls his tongue, flicking and dipping the tip into Zayn’s hole, grinning over the stir of arousal that has Zayn gasping for air. He presses up, tongue sinking deeper as he nudges careful hands around Zayn’s shaking thighs.

It’s a while until Zayn’s muscles are relaxing around him, mouth open and heavy as he swipes his tongue back and forth. Zayn clenches, a wrecked sob breathed as Liam pulls away with a trail of saliva dripped down onto his chin.

His breath is tight in his chest, muscles aching as Liam works him loose. There’s a whine at the back of his throat that he keeps there, Liam’s stubble scratching harshly over his thighs.

There’s a shaky stutter in his breath as he mumbles Liam’s name, quiet little whimpers as Liam repeatedly flicks his tongue into his hole. He can feel the blush staining his cheeks, his chest and neck painted a pastel red, but he’s too focused on Liam’s heavy eyelashes and the strain of his muscles as Liam’s tongue rubs over his hole.

He gasps breathlessly when Liam utters a moan over his skin, pulling away with spit smeared over his chin.

“Babe,” he whispers, reaching to cup Liam’s cheek.

He uses the corner of the sheet beneath him to wipe Liam’s chin, muffling a whimper into Liam’s mouth as he crawls further up the mattress to press soft kisses over Zayn’s lips.

His fingers work quickly to rid of Liam’s joggers, his touches stumbled and shaky as Liam distracts him by coaxing kisses down his neck.

He breathes a moan over his wrist when Liam eases the head of his dick over Zayn’s hole, almost nudging in. He waits, fingertips careful at Zayn’s hips and lips soft over his shoulder.

Liam smothers a delicate kiss over his mouth when he rolls his hips, pushing in.

There’s an ache, muscles coiling as he reaches to bring Liam closer.

“Okay?”

Zayn whines, tipping his head back into the pillow as Liam presses wet kisses over his skin.

Liam groans, muffled into Zayn’s neck with fingers squeezing faint bruises into his hips.

His movements are slow, tender kisses marked over his collarbones and lips settling over the tattoo blemished in the centre of his chest. He kisses over Zayn’s mouth after every whimper, every breathless gasp followed by Liam grunting soft moans into his neck.

Zayn arches his back, Liam pulsing into him through a slow rhythm.

There’s sweat matted over his brow, his moan echoing Zayn’s as he smears careful kisses over his cheek, down to his earlobe.

“Love you,” Liam stutters, thumbing over the pinch in Zayn’s brow as Liam pushes deeper, quietening the gasp swallowing his tongue with soft lips.

He smiles fondly, wrapping his hands around Liam’s waist and pressing his fingers into the grooves of his hips.

Liam’s hips stutter, nudging over Zayn’s prostate, and he’s too breathless to reply.

He mutters a soft _‘jaan’_ instead, and it seems to have the same affect – a smear of crinkles pressed around Liam’s eyes and a trail of faint kisses marked softly over Zayn’s neck.

Liam sucks in a quiet breath, voice a shredded mess in his throat as he gasps.

He flicks his hips, flitting a smile over Zayn’s mouth at the soft whine he whispers out, clutching onto Liam’s arms for support.

Liam’s mouth is a shiny red, bruised around the edges and eager for more as he clings more kisses to the hollow underneath Zayn’s jaw. There are soft tufts of hair brushing over his eyelashes, chest flushed a deep pink.

He smiles softly as Liam tucks a hand to the back of his neck, fingertips tickling gentle touches over his stomach.

His fingers pull at the wrinkled sheets, Liam rocking his hips deeper.

“Fuck, baby,” Liam moans shakily, eyes peeled open as he watches his cock disappear into Zayn, the crown wet and heavy.

He slows, dicking Zayn into the mattress with soft, frequent movements.

“God, you’re so gorgeous,” he sighs, carding fingers into Zayn’s damp hair.

Zayn gasps a little breathlessly, lifting his head to kiss over Liam’s mouth. The kiss is desperate but gentle, Liam licking over the roof of Zayn’s mouth.

“Li,” Zayn mumbles, clutching onto the sheets as Liam tortures him with a slow rhythm of his hips. “Love you, babe – m’ so sorry.”

Liam brushes a tender kiss to Zayn’s bottom lip, hushing him.

“I love you, sweetheart,” he whispers, fingers tracing out the shape of Zayn’s hips and marking soft fingertips over the ink stained to his skin. “Don’t need to apologise, baby.”

Zayn shakes his head, frowning, but Liam chases his lips over the worry lines trapped to Zayn’s forehead.

“Sh,” he says softly, eyelids trembling as he grinds over Zayn’s prostate and earns a heavy sob. “I love you.”

Zayn breathes a shaky whimper, reaching to tangle his arms around Liam’s neck and bring him closer. He twists his fingers tightly into Liam’s hair, forcing a needy kiss to the birthmark splattered on his neck.

“Fuck,” he hisses, thumbing unsteady fingers over the ‘only time will tell’ scarred over Liam’s wrist.

He moans and lets his hips rock up to Liam’s touches, stuttering.

“Shit,” Liam mutters, and Zayn reaches to press his fingers into the nape of Liam’s neck, fumbling to find a pulse. “Oh, _jaan_.”

Zayn chokes around a smile, biting over his lip as he feels Liam’s heart trembling through heavy and quick beats.

“Babe,” he gasps, lips parted breathlessly as Liam kisses bruised lips over his.

His cock is throbbing, smearing precome over his stomach as Liam buries whispers into his neck, a whine clinging to Zayn’s jaw.

He can feel Liam everywhere, his fingertips mapping out his body and bruising gentle marks onto his skin. “Ah, babe,” he whines softly, desperate for air as the oxygen sinks deep in his throat, cutting his words off.

 “I know,” Liam whispers over his collarbone, lips dragged wetly over his neck.

He can’t keep quiet, losing it as Liam wraps an unsteady, sweaty hand around his cock. He’s blinking away a correlation of fuzzy patterns behind hooded eyelids, tipping his head back as Liam fucks down into him, still so gentle and so slow.

There are murmurs of something soft whispered into his neck, but he can’t focus as he spurts hot streaks of come into Liam’s hand and breathes shamelessly loud moans over Liam’s skin.

He blinks his eyes open just enough to watch the strain of Liam’s muscles as he trembles achy moans over Zayn’s parted lips, the pinch of his brow and the restless pulses inside of him as he comes.

The _‘sweetheart’_ whispered into his neck as Liam drags a sheet between their bodies, a smile buried sweetly over his skin.

Fingers gentle at his hips, soothing over the pale bruises. Messy, clingy kisses brushed over his hairline, a giggle bitten over his lips as Liam hums an ‘I love you’ into his mouth.

 

//

 

With Liam’s heartbeat fluttering familiarly over his skin and cold toes brushed over his ankles beneath thick sheets, he can’t quite keep the ‘stay with me’ off of his tongue as he falls asleep, mind no longer a canvas of scattered thoughts.

 

//

 

The rain is tipping soft patters against the roof, a slither of silvery moonlight poured onto the windowsill. The room is painted a delicate purple from the heavy clouds outside, water trickling down the glass of the window and onto the pane outside.

Liam is pressed into the sofa with Soraya huddled into his lap, both of them laughing with crinkles smeared around their eyes at the cartoons flitting across the telly. Zayn crosses his legs in the armchair, watching Liam with fond eyes and a soft expression mirroring the one shifted over Liam’s every time they exchange quick glances.

For the first time in weeks he feels at ease, Liam’s presence soothing the once worried tension pooling in his stomach.

A crack of lightning sparks across the dark sky outside, a sudden glow brightening the room. A heavy rumble of thunder moments later and Aashir pacing into the living room with wide eyes threatening tears.

“Beta,” Zayn says quietly, stretching out his arms and gently pulling Aashir into his lap.

He’s trembling – lip pained white from being bitten into, moisture clinging to his long lashes.

“S’ okay, babe,” he whispers, cuddling Aashir to his chest.

Aashir shakes his head and buries his face into the crook of Zayn’s neck, whimpering as another clap of thunder sounds above.

“I don’t like it,” he sobs, grasping at Zayn’s shirt and clinging to his body.

“I know, Aash,” Zayn says softly. “It’ll be over soon though, sweetheart.”

Liam turns the telly up in attempt to soften the sound echoing outside and shoots Zayn a concerned frown. They both smile when Soraya climbs out from beneath the blanket and wraps Aashir in a comforting hug, nudging her nose against his cheek as she whispers a faint ‘ _it’s okay, bhaiyya – it’s just the sky getting angry because he’s sad’_ and places a kiss to his shoulder.

Aashir waits a moment before withdrawing his head from Zayn’s neck, peering at Soraya from behind shy eyes.

“Why is he sad?”

Liam hides his smile into the palm of his hand, shaking his head and staring at Zayn with soft, proud eyes.

“Maybe he’s hungry,” Soraya shrugs. “You always get cross with me when you’re hungry.”

Zayn brushes a laugh into Aashir’s hair, listening to the whine he whimpers through a giggle.

There’s another roll of thunder, Aashir clinging more tightly onto Zayn.

“I know how to make it better,” Liam mumbles as he kicks away the blanket before disappearing into the hallway.

Soraya shoots Zayn a confused look, a frown brushing over her expression as she climbs off of the chair and follows Liam up the stairs.

“How’s daddy going to make it better?” Aashir asks through a frightened hiccup, cuddling closer into Zayn’s hold as the rain sharply thuds onto the roof, heavier than before.

“I’m not sure, beta,” Zayn whispers, a smile crawling over his forehead.

Soraya and Liam appear several minutes later, a bundle of blankets and cushions grasped in their hands. There’s a tangle of fairy lights wrapped around Liam’s wrist, sheets hanging over his arm.

“We’re goin’ to make a den!” Soraya spills excitedly, dropping the contents in her arms onto the sofa.

“To keep away all the loud noises, beta,” Liam tells him softly, sweeping Aashir’s fringe from his forehead.

Zayn bites over a smile, letting Aashir shyly crawl out from his lap and grasp onto Liam’s leg.

They drag four chairs from underneath the dining table and drape sheets over the top, laying duvets beneath. Aashir and Soraya arrange pillows and cushions around the edge as Zayn helps Liam weave the fairy lights between the various materials, Loki and Rhino burying themselves into the cushioned floor.

They crawl inside as Liam turns off the lights, leaving the room in darkness. Zayn watches Soraya and Aashir’s excited smiles beneath the soft glow of the lights entwined above them and cosies a blanket around their shoulders, pressing them into his sides.

Aashir whimpers as another strike of lightning sparks a flash, hiding himself under a duvet.

Liam appears in the entrance with his laptop in hand, curling himself into Zayn’s side. He plugs in a pair of headphones and offers a bud each to Aashir and Soraya, placing the laptop in between them.

It falls quiet, the children absorbed in Aladdin playing on the screen as Liam brushes a blanket over their legs and rests his head onto the pillow behind, pulling Zayn down with him. An arm slides over his stomach, sock-covered toes scratching along Zayn’s ankles as their legs are tangled under the sheets.

Zayn blinks up at the lights dancing delicate glimmers over the quilts hanging above, Liam nudging a sigh into Zayn’s neck. He turns his head to place a soft kiss to Liam’s forehead, curling an arm around his shoulders. He can’t help the smile clinging to his lips as Soraya sings quietly, Aashir hiding a giggle into his palm as he watches Soraya with bright eyes. Liam nuzzling kisses over his collarbone and fingertips brushing over his hips, eyelashes soft and smooth as they stroke his skin.

The thunder grumbles miserably, the rain heavier now – but Aashir is oblivious as he chews over his lip, amber eyes absorbed and intrigued as he watches the film on Liam’s laptop.

Zayn fumbles a hand under Liam’s chin, knuckles tickled beneath the heavy stubble scratched over Liam’s jaw. He sweeps a fond look into Liam’s copper eyes before leaning down to kiss him, slow and gentle as Liam hums a grin over Zayn’s mouth.

Liam pulls away and mouths an _‘I love you’_ with his lips over Zayn’s chest, thumb tracing the inked heart stained to Zayn’s skin.

His voice is soft and tender when he mumbles a quiet _‘new memories, babe’_ into the crook of his neck, just for Zayn.

 

//

 

The sun is bright behind a cluster of clouds, feathery beams of light lifting the sapphire sky.

Zayn strokes a paintbrush over an almost-finished canvas that’s smudged in faded oranges and pastel pinks, humming to a familiar tune playing from the radio on the windowsill. His fingers are smeared in soft blues and greens, the bottom of his t-shirt stained a crimson red.

There’s light knocking against the wooden door and Karen pokes her head round, a bright smile swept to her lips as she shoots him a fond look.

“Hiya, sunshine,” she says softly, eyes crinkled and warm.

Zayn thinks she’s similar to Liam in so many ways, the same fuchsia of her lips and the softness of her skin beneath the ridges trailed over her palms. The same laugh – squinting eyes and a prominent dimple traced into their right cheek, the tone of their voice always gentle.

She lingers in the doorway, eyes curious and a little cautious as she waits, smiling gently.

“Y’ can come in, babe,” Zayn grins, wiping over his paint-stained hands with a cloth.

He dips the brush in a jar of water, settling several to dry under the huge window.

“He was so excited for you to have y’ own room,” she smiles, humming quietly as she wanders her gaze to Aashir’s paintings scattered across the far wall. “Sent me photos asking me where to put each painting, bless him.”

A smile shifts over Zayn’s lips as he dusts down the flicker of paint marked to his shirt.

He watches as Karen chews on the inside of her lip, wringing her hands together as she utters a thoughtful gaze towards Zayn. He knows the look so well, it’s the one Liam uses when he’s deciding on his words.

“I know you’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch,” she says eventually, dropping down into the window seat.

Zayn sighs, putting down the cup of brushes to sit next to Karen. He shrugs a soft frown over his brow, pulling his knees up to his chin.

“A bit, yeah,” he mumbles quietly, fiddling with the fraying threads of the blanket beneath him. “We’re…it’s better, now.”

Karen nods, smiling.

“I know that, too,” she tells him, tucking a wandering strand of hair behind her ear.

Zayn shrugs and looks out onto the garden, watching the light trickle through the branches of the willow and splay over the darkness of the pond.

“He called me that night,” she says softly, eyes cautious. “When you two fought…he called me crying.”

Zayn sucks in a sharp breath, scratching dull fingernails over his wrist.

“He kept on saying that he let you down,” Karen mutters, pausing for breath as she fixes the glasses sat crookedly across her nose. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad, sunshine. I’m…I think we all forget how fragile Liam really is.”

Zayn nods, and despite Karen’s words he can’t help but feel guilt sink into his veins.

“He also told me you’ll both get through this,” she says with a spark of a smile, smoothing down the wrinkles of her sleeves. “He wouldn’t stop going on about how much he loves you.”

Zayn bites over the fond smile clinging to his lips, dragging his nails over the insides of his palm.

“I love him too,” he says weakly, voice merely a whisper as he tries to hide the flush crawling a warm crimson along his cheekbones.

“I know, sweetheart,” Karen grins, shaking her head affectionately as she briefly cups both her hands around Zayn’s, leaning over to brush a kiss to his cheek before shuffling to her feet.

“I promised Soraya I’d watch Aladdin with her,” she says with a soft laugh, Zayn sighing dramatically as he pushes himself from the seat.

“She’s obsessed,” he teases, holding the door open as Karen slips past, thanking him softly.

A warm aroma of spices fills his senses as he walks into the kitchen, a sigh drifting over his lips as he sees his mum in front of the stove, an apron drawn around her waist.

“Smells amazing,” he grins, resting his chin over her shoulder from behind.

He’s so happy to have them all here, even if it is only for a couple of days. He loves helping Aashir make scrambled eggs in the morning, and feels warmth spread over his lungs watching Yaser kick around a football with Soraya outside. The way their children cosy under blankets between Geoff and Karen, late in the evening when they watch a film, and how bright Liam’s smile is when he’s teasing Tricia.

“Have you seen Li?” Zayn asks, sneaking a taste from the wooden spoon his mum’s holding.

“He’s getting drinks from outside,” Tricia tells him, swatting at Zayn with a gentle shove.

He kisses her cheek, a smug smile sat softly at his lips as he crosses over the kitchen and to the back door.

A shiver runs along his spine as he steps outside, a chilly breeze clinging to his arms. Liam appears round the corner, an orange juice carton and two beers held in his hands, surprise shaking his expression as he sees Zayn.

“’Sup?” He asks softly, placing the drinks onto the step beneath the door.

Zayn shrugs, chewing over his lip as he watches the sunlight flicker across Liam’s tanned skin. It highlights the glints of hazel in his eyes, a smile shoved over his lips as Zayn reaches forward to trace the wrinkles smeared around Liam’s eyelids.

He’s reminded of the first time he saw Liam, in a club amongst hundreds of bodies. The flashes of florescent lights dancing patterns over Liam’s face, electricity trickling through his veins at the sight of the radiant smile, the honey seeping into the dark coffee of his eyes. A Batman shirt clung to his broad shoulders, the blush filtered over his cheeks once he realised Zayn was wearing a similar costume. The birthmark smeared to his neck, a little off centre and so appealing.

Zayn leans forward, draping his arms around Liam’s neck.

“I love you,” he says, soft and shy, brushing a dry kiss over Liam’s mouth.

Liam smiles, nudging gentle fingertips over Zayn’s hips and knocking his nose against Zayn’s.

They kiss slowly, Zayn’s eyelids fluttering closed as he absorbs all of Liam. He tangles his fingers into the thick strands at the back of Liam’s hair, grinning as he tastes the sweet hints of caramel from Liam’s tea filter over his tongue.

“Scale of one to ten?” Liam asks, teasing as he runs his thumb over Zayn’s bottom lip.

Zayn rolls his eyes, hiding the fond spilling over him as he presses them closer.

“Four, maybe?” He says, kissing over the silly pout dragged over Liam’s lips. “Five, if you’re lucky.”

Liam huffs out a laugh, shaking his head and pressing his palms into the small of Zayn’s back.

“I love you too you donut,” he smiles, marking out his words with letters traced over Zayn’s skin.

Zayn spills one more kiss over Liam’s skin before they go back inside, listening to Soraya chat away happily to Karen and Tricia.

“If I ever get another sister I want her to be called Jasmine,” she tells them, Zayn watching the vibrant smile shifting over his mum’s face as she shoots a fond glance at him. “Like in Aladdin, because everyone says that I look like her.”

Liam shakes his head and brushes a grin into the hollow beneath Zayn’s jaw, burying his lips into the crook of his neck.

Later, when they’re in bed after everyone’s asleep, and the moon is tracing slithers of light over Liam’s skin, he mumbles _‘y’ know, there’s a spare room down the hallway and I think having a little Jasmine running round the place wouldn’t be too difficult?’_ over Zayn’s lips, and Zayn’s pretty certain he’s never been more in love than he is right now.

 

END.

**Author's Note:**

> Was the ending too cheesy? Or maybe the whole fic was? Probably, but I can’t help it when writing Zayn and Liam in this verse. Thank you for reading if you made it this far – I’d love to know what you thought! You can find me on tumblr [here](http://englandziam.tumblr.com/) , come say hi :).


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